Asehoy fotsiny
0:00
S… Speaker 2 (1779796934692)
I co -mediated a case,
0:02
S… Speaker 2 (1779796934692)
and it was one of those divorces,
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S… Speaker 2 (1779796934692)
and we spent three hours one night,
0:06
S… Speaker 2 (1779796934692)
and the wife was telling the husband,
0:08
S… Speaker 2 (1779796934692)
I know you're having an affair,
0:09
S… Speaker 2 (1779796934692)
and he denied it,
0:10
S… Speaker 2 (1779796934692)
and we came back a week later and spent another three hours,
0:12
S… Speaker 2 (1779796934692)
and after the first hour,
0:14
S… Speaker 1 (1779796934692)
the husband starts to cry,
0:18
S… Speaker 2 (1779796934692)
and he says, you know what,
0:19
S… Speaker 1 (1779796934692)
I'm done.
0:20
S… Speaker 2 (1779796934692)
I just want to tell the truth.
0:22
S… Speaker 2 (1779796934692)
And he says,
0:24
S… Speaker 2 (1779796934692)
I am having an affair,
0:25
S… Speaker 2 (1779796934692)
and it is with your best friend,
0:26
S… Speaker 2 (1779796934692)
and it's the best thing that ever happened to me.
0:29
S… Speaker 1 (1779796934692)
He's crying.
0:30
S… Speaker 1 (1779796934692)
She's crying.
0:32
S… Speaker 2 (1779796934692)
My co -mediator passes me a note saying,
0:36
S… Speaker 1 (1779796934692)
okay,
0:36
S… Speaker 2 (1779796934692)
let's, you know.
0:38
S… Speaker 2 (1779796934692)
But that's enough for tonight.
0:40
S… Speaker 1 (1779796934692)
You know,
0:40
S… Speaker 2 (1779796934692)
let these people go home,
0:41
S… Speaker 1 (1779796934692)
right?
0:42
S… Speaker 2 (1779796934692)
And my instinct was,
0:44
S… Speaker 1 (1779796934692)
are you kidding?
0:45
S… Speaker 2 (1779796934692)
We've worked four hours for these two folks to finally be willing to be honest with each
0:49
S… Speaker 1 (1779796934692)
other. Yes,
0:49
S… Speaker 1 (1779796934692)
it's crying.
0:50
S… Speaker 2 (1779796934692)
Yes, it's painful.
0:51
S… Speaker 2 (1779796934692)
It's full of emotion.
0:52
S… Speaker 2 (1779796934692)
But let's stay in the game and see where it goes.
0:56
S… Speaker 2 (1779796934692)
So I share that because if my co -mediator had been there alone,
1:00
S… Speaker 2 (1779796934692)
he was so uncomfortable with the emotion that he would
1:04
S… Speaker 2 (1779796934692)
have said, I don't want to...
1:09
S… Speaker 2 (1779796934692)
facilitate a process that has
1:13
S… Speaker 2 (1779796934692)
this much pain in the room,
1:15
S… Speaker 2 (1779796934692)
this much tragedy,
1:17
S… Speaker 2 (1779796934692)
this much grief,
1:17
S… Speaker 2 (1779796934692)
and that they need to do that somewhere else and then come back and talk.
1:21
S… Speaker 1 (1779796934692)
But right now,
1:22
S… Speaker 2 (1779796934692)
this is just too raw.
1:23
S… Speaker 2 (1779796934692)
And that was his instinct.
1:25
S… Speaker 2 (1779796934692)
My instinct was,
1:26
S… Speaker 2 (1779796934692)
no, no, no,
1:27
S… Speaker 2 (1779796934692)
this is good.
1:27
S… Speaker 2 (1779796934692)
This is what happens when people are honest with each other.

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