1779796380554
May 26, 2026 11:53
· 2:06
· English
· Whisper Turbo
· 2 Reproduktory
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My first criteria is,
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are the parties comfortable with the emotion in the room?
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If someone stands up and yells,
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Speaker 1 (1779796380554)
I'm watching to see if
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the other person is being emotionally bulldozed.
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If he stands up and yells right back,
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Speaker 1 (1779796380554)
they seem like they both are very comfortable screaming and yelling at each other,
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Speaker 1 (1779796380554)
and both of them are very comfortable.
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fully expressing their emotions,
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then okay,
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Speaker 1 (1779796380554)
great.
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Speaker 1 (1779796380554)
To me,
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Speaker 1 (1779796380554)
that's important to say,
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Speaker 1 (1779796380554)
Peter, this may not be how you would talk to a sibling,
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Speaker 1 (1779796380554)
but guess what?
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Speaker 1 (1779796380554)
This isn't your family of origin.
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It's their family of origin,
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Speaker 1 (1779796380554)
and they both seem to be comfortable with this.
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Speaker 1 (1779796380554)
And if they're comfortable with it,
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Speaker 1 (1779796380554)
then I'm more comfortable with it,
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Speaker 1 (1779796380554)
right?
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Speaker 1 (1779796380554)
Either both very emotionally expressive or both unexpressive,
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Speaker 1 (1779796380554)
either way is fine.
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Speaker 1 (1779796380554)
The place where it gets complicated is if you have one really emotionally expressive person and one person
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who is not comfortable in that realm.
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Speaker 1 (1779796380554)
And now for you to say,
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Speaker 1 (1779796380554)
now I need to think about how to manage the emotion.
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Speaker 1 (1779796380554)
And I might need to ask this person,
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Speaker 1 (1779796380554)
are you okay with this level of intensity and passion?
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Speaker 1 (1779796380554)
Are you comfortable with this?
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Speaker 1 (1779796380554)
And by the way...
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Speaker 1 (1779796380554)
What I'm observing is that you're not responding in
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Speaker 1 (1779796380554)
kind. Do you want me to make sure that I ask a question to where you can let him know how you feel
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Speaker 1 (1779796380554)
about some things too?
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Speaker 1 (1779796380554)
And invite him to kind of up the ante some so that it's
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a more equal tenor in the room.
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Speaker 1 (1779796380554)
Or I might want to go to this person and say,
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Speaker 1 (1779796380554)
you know, let me tell you what I'm observing.
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Speaker 1 (1779796380554)
I don't believe that you mean to,
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Speaker 1 (1779796380554)
but you are such a strong personality.
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Speaker 1 (1779796380554)
You have so much energy,
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Speaker 1 (1779796380554)
so much passion.
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Speaker 1 (1779796380554)
And I see you get...
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Speaker 2 (1779796380554)
all on fire,
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Speaker 1 (1779796380554)
and I just see the other person going into a cave.
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Speaker 1 (1779796380554)
If we're going to work this out,
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Speaker 1 (1779796380554)
I think we need to let both of you have your voice.
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Speaker 1 (1779796380554)
Your passion's okay with me.
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Speaker 1 (1779796380554)
I'm a passionate person too,
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Speaker 1 (1779796380554)
but I'm not sure that it's having the impact that is helpful
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Speaker 1 (1779796380554)
as far as the other person.
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Speaker 1 (1779796380554)
So I'm coaching this person to see if they can relax a little more and
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Speaker 1 (1779796380554)
be less intense.
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Speaker 1 (1779796380554)
So that's all driven by the reaction of the parties.
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