Adam Claxton Full Show (mp3cut.net) (1)

0:00

S… Speaker 1 (Adam Claxton Full Show (mp3cut.net) (1))

advice you want to share with us? Again, for people that have just been through transplant, in fact, everybody, we need to have good daily routines. We need to be mindful of how much time we're on our phone. We need to be mindful of who we associate ourselves with because people do pull us down. We need to be present, to learn how to be present in the moment because if you're anxious about the future,

0:29

S… Speaker 1 (Adam Claxton Full Show (mp3cut.net) (1))

you're not living here now today. If you're living in the past and there's depression, you're not living in today. And it is being able to control everything and bring it into this present moment. What you do for that.

0:46

S… Speaker 1 (Adam Claxton Full Show (mp3cut.net) (1))

I don't know what all the answers are, but there are many things that we can do. Some will exercise, some will go walking, some will sing, some will dance, some will bake cakes, some will get creative. And one of the biggest tips I've got is go back and do the things you used to do when you were about 12 years old. Because you are young, you are free, you are spirited.

1:15

S… Speaker 1 (Adam Claxton Full Show (mp3cut.net) (1))

And go and do that again. So whether that's sort of coloring, knitting, baking, and notice how you feel when you're in that state. I love that. What does your mind tell you? Do you feel peaceful? Do you feel happy? And those feelings are what you want to do. Does it bring you joy? Yes. We all need to have more joy. And quite often, so for those that are parents,

1:41

S… Speaker 1 (Adam Claxton Full Show (mp3cut.net) (1))

You sit at the table, you start drawing and coloring with the children. The children have got bored, they've gone off. How long do you sit at the table coloring for? Because most people go, where are my kids? As you're coloring away. And you actually stick your own pictures on the fridge because they're that good.

2:02

S… Speaker 1 (Adam Claxton Full Show (mp3cut.net) (1))

Show those kids up, right? Yeah, absolutely. That's great. So yeah, it's about being mindful. And in the beginning, it's learning how to be mindful. It's a process. It's like training a muscle. The more you train it, the stronger it becomes. So if you can be more present for five minutes of your day, next week it might be seven minutes, 10 minutes, an hour.

2:28

S… Speaker 1 (Adam Claxton Full Show (mp3cut.net) (1))

And it's really important, especially in the recovery after transplant, because your body is weak. Everything needs to be reconditioned again. I remember going back to the gym because that's what I used to enjoy doing before. I went back to the gym, started lifting weights that I used to kind of warm up at. I couldn't, just couldn't move them. And again, that was sort of demoralizing, but then you have to accept that you've just been through war and you have to start again.

2:58

S… Speaker 2 (Adam Claxton Full Show (mp3cut.net) (1))

And you learn to love this new version of you. Wow, that's really great. And not beat yourself up because you can't do what you used to do.

3:08

S… Speaker 2 (Adam Claxton Full Show (mp3cut.net) (1))

Mark your progress, right? Yeah. Rebuild. Yeah. It's not about what you used to do. It's about who you're becoming and what you can do now. How do you control the social media? Do you have any tips on, I mean, I see the benefit of those in isolation, the camaraderie on some of the.

3:30

S… Speaker 1 (Adam Claxton Full Show (mp3cut.net) (1))

the Facebook pages and ours too, you know, our linked Facebook page. But can it be too much? How do you feel about that? I think you've got to, one, recognize how do you feel when you come away from it? Does it bother you? Does it play with your mind? Does it impact how you're thinking and feeling? If so, then you need to stop, reassess.

3:54

S… Speaker 1 (Adam Claxton Full Show (mp3cut.net) (1))

and learn how to manage it wisely. For me, who does a lot of business through social media, it's recognizing, am I doom scrolling or passively scrolling? If that's a yes, then I need to get rid of it. And one thing for me during the relapse was I removed TikTok.

4:14

S… Speaker 1 (Adam Claxton Full Show (mp3cut.net) (1))

Because it was no good. You can watch one thing after another. And the algorithm picks up what you watch. So a lot of my stuff was around AML. It was around people's situations. And you end up, you absorb that energy and you take it on board. So I deleted it. Do I miss it? No, I don't. And actually then, because you stop being on TikTok.

4:40

S… Speaker 1 (Adam Claxton Full Show (mp3cut.net) (1))

that time you then got to do something else, like right gratitude, to go and meditate, to be mindful, to do an extra half an hour of coloring a day. You're trading a habit for a habit. You stop doing something and you'll find something else to start doing.

5:00

S… Speaker 1 (Adam Claxton Full Show (mp3cut.net) (1))

For me, my social media is more business related. So I know when I go on it, don't be passively scrolling.

5:07

S… Speaker 2 (Adam Claxton Full Show (mp3cut.net) (1))

Go do what you've got to do. Do the post. Get out of the group. Then later on, I'll check. Time management. Yes. I've even learned that in my own life. I've spent about just a few minutes a day checking in on Facebook or whatever, Instagram, just to see what's going on with people I care about. But it's a rabbit hole if you let it be. Yeah. And I made a choice a long time ago to not let it be. And I've been happier for it. So I get that.

5:36

S… Speaker 2 (Adam Claxton Full Show (mp3cut.net) (1))

I do see the benefits for those that just, you know, have a question and you see so many wonderful answers sometimes that support is incredible. So I guess it's just enough, but not too much. Yeah. And for me with Facebook groups around blood cancer, around AML, around bone marrow transplants.

5:58

S… Speaker 1 (Adam Claxton Full Show (mp3cut.net) (1))

It was about what is my role within this group? Because there are so many things which can be negative, they can be upsetting, they can be triggering. And for me, it was recognizing, okay, this is what I'm going to post in these groups. I'm going to be the light in somebody else's dark.

6:19

S… Speaker 1 (Adam Claxton Full Show (mp3cut.net) (1))

I'm going to provide information that might help someone that is seeking what I am going to say today. Sure. And most of the time, a lot of my posts are around my own experiences. So it's something that I've experienced done in a way that someone might not be able to put a name.

6:38

S… Speaker 1 (Adam Claxton Full Show (mp3cut.net) (1))

to post-traumatic stress. But when I explain how I feel it, what I do with it, that's when it hits and sticks to people and they go, that's what I needed to hear today. So Adam, I wanted to ask you about your support system. You've mentioned your wife and your children. Tell us how important that is and any tips on that. Yeah, my wife is incredible. I'm so, so lucky.

7:05

S… Speaker 1 (Adam Claxton Full Show (mp3cut.net) (1))

And we actually weren't husband and wife before this started. So we've only been married just over two months now, nearly three months. Well, congratulations. Thank you. Having someone as a rock is amazing. I'm so blessed. But also appreciate how tough it has been for her. Because again, it's part of a story that isn't always talked about.

7:35

S… Speaker 1 (Adam Claxton Full Show (mp3cut.net) (1))

is how is the partner of a patient because it's all about me i'm the poorly one i'm the one who's gone through all this treatment oh it must be bad for you or poor adam and it's really recognizable that a lot of people don't always ask how she is or for some how how he is depending on situation but we've taken it on we've we've seeked help

8:01

S… Speaker 1 (Adam Claxton Full Show (mp3cut.net) (1))

when we needed to, we've had each other. There are some things that I will never understand fully about how she's feeling. And there's some things that she will never fully understand about how I'm feeling because two people can go through the same experience, but how they're felt are completely different because my feelings were different to how she was. And it's trying to find that balance in between where...

8:27

S… Speaker 1 (Adam Claxton Full Show (mp3cut.net) (1))

We get it and we understand it. Let them feel those feels. And ultimately, try and process this together to move forward. And again, with the children as well, which is one of the reasons it inspired me with the book, is to help families explain a diagnosis, explain what that process looks like.

8:51

S… Speaker 1 (Adam Claxton Full Show (mp3cut.net) (1))

Our children were different ages, and the support that was out there wasn't what we needed. Because how do you tell a three-year-old, an eight-year-old, and an 11-year-old when their perspectives on the world are completely different? Wow. I ordered your book. I love it, by the way. It's a gift, that's for sure. So Adam, what do you think survivors really need more of? Being kind to themselves.

9:21

S… Speaker 1 (Adam Claxton Full Show (mp3cut.net) (1))

It's going to take longer than what you think it will take. Need to work on their mindset every day. Talk about how you're feeling. Share your experience. I think one thing that survivors should do is own their story. Yes. When you help somebody else heal, there's a bit of you that heals yourself too.

9:47

S… Speaker 1 (Adam Claxton Full Show (mp3cut.net) (1))

And again, it's not something that we're all programmed to do or want to do because it takes you back to that sort of faith over fear. Some people are scared to talk out because they're afraid of being judged or...

10:00

S… Speaker 1 (Adam Claxton Full Show (mp3cut.net) (1))

laughed at or nobody will understand but our stories we're all unique we've all been on same but different journeys and it's these experiences that are one going to help others two they're going to help ourselves but three they're going to help shape how clinicians medical see the other side of a cancer journey and having that patient perspective is so important

10:27

S… Speaker 1 (Adam Claxton Full Show (mp3cut.net) (1))

Because we know what chemo tastes like. We know what it feels like. To see it on paper and to see and hear of what people might go through is completely different to someone telling you that's what it's like. Don't be quiet. We've all got a story in us and it defines us. We can really make ourselves.

10:48

S… Speaker 1 (Adam Claxton Full Show (mp3cut.net) (1))

Who we want to be because we've one, got the second opportunity and two, we see life differently. Three, we've been through things that not everybody will ever go through. And we can actually educate and impact quite a lot of people with that story that we have. Yes, indeed.

11:07

S… Speaker 1 (Adam Claxton Full Show (mp3cut.net) (1))

And I think that, you know, you turned your experience into something meaningful. Any advice for other survivors on how to do that? I know we've covered a lot already. Is there anything else you want to add? Just start because people go, oh, how have you got so good at this? And it's, this is my path. This is my journey. This is years in the making. It's something that I wanted to do. I always like challenging myself on doing the things that are scary.

11:35

S… Speaker 1 (Adam Claxton Full Show (mp3cut.net) (1))

And this journey I've been on, it's really scary. But you have to do it. Or I had to do it. Just start by putting a post out there, by journaling. If you're in Facebook groups, start being a voice. Start writing down or sharing your experience with other people. Because...

11:55

S… Speaker 1 (Adam Claxton Full Show (mp3cut.net) (1))

You can't learn this in an education system. You can only learn our human experiences by being a human and experiencing them. The difference then is how you apply that sort of knowledge to share it and to help other people that are on that same sort of path as you. They're just further behind. Sure. Well, I think you have done that today.

12:22

S… Speaker 1 (Adam Claxton Full Show (mp3cut.net) (1))

Adam, this is really fantastic. Any parting words? Parting words? We can, we will, we must. That's something that we wrote in hospital, like an affirmation. It was on the board above my bed. We can do anything that we put our minds to. We will because we have goals and visions and we must because we have to.

12:50

S… Speaker 1 (Adam Claxton Full Show (mp3cut.net) (1))

Fantastic. I don't think we could say anything else after that. That kind of says it all, doesn't it? Yeah. And it's something that I've applied daily. I still apply daily. Even though I'm here now looking good, there is another complication that I've been diagnosed with. We're sort of in the sort of early parts of that.

13:13

S… Speaker 1 (Adam Claxton Full Show (mp3cut.net) (1))

But it doesn't stop me. There's still more to the story. And that's what I'm here for, to help others. Wow. Well, I wish you all the best. I'm always a phone call away. And really, really appreciate you, Adam. I know that there was just so much advice here that I'm going to take away.

13:36

S… Speaker 1 (Adam Claxton Full Show (mp3cut.net) (1))

in my life too. And you are a gift. Thank you so much for being with us today. Thank you so much for having me. And I'd also like to thank the National Bone Morrow Transplant Link for everything that you do, the awareness that you make and create an amazing podcast like this. Thank you, Adam. Thank you.

13:56

S… Speaker 2 (Adam Claxton Full Show (mp3cut.net) (1))

This has been the Marrowmasters podcast. Please share this episode with someone you think would benefit from it. And don't miss future episodes of our show. Follow Marrowmasters for free on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you're listening right now. Marrowmasters is produced for the National Bone Marrow Transplant Link. Established in 1992, the NBMT link strives to help patients, caregivers, and families cope with the psychosocial challenges of transplant from diagnosis through survivorship.

14:24

S… Speaker 2 (Adam Claxton Full Show (mp3cut.net) (1))

The Merrow Masters Podcast is produced by JAG Podcast Productions, online at jagpodcastproductions.com.

Adam Claxton Full Show (mp3cut.net) (1)

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