Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35

May 12, 2026 17:55 · 29:46 · English · Whisper Turbo · 3 वक्ता:
एतत् लिखितं पत्रं आजम् समाप्तं भवति । अद्यतनीकरणं स्थायी भण्डारणार्थम् →
वार्तालेखः
केवलं दर्शयति
0:00
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
So it's the resistance.
0:03
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Resistance is the part of you that
0:07
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
doesn't want to know what's going on.
0:11
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Right.
0:12
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Even though you're open to everything.
0:14
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Yes.
0:15
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
You're open to everything that you want to know.
0:17
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Yeah.
0:18
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
But the bits that you don't want to know,
0:20
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
you're resistant to,
0:22
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
and it's probably unconscious.
0:24
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
And that's where my work is.
0:28
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
It's not on what we know.
0:31
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
It's the unknown.
0:32
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
It's the unknown because you can't do it yourself.
0:36
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
So I need to tell you something
0:40
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
that's constructive.
0:41
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
No,
0:42
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
you can't do it because you don't want to do it.
0:45
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
It's what comes up when you're talking.
0:48
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I can see.
0:53
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Right.
0:53
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
And that's what I think that all this talk about friends.
0:58
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
There is a resistance.
1:00
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
That's how you do it.
1:01
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
So we don't talk about maybe the deeper stuff
1:06
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
because you don't even know what it is.
1:08
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
No.
1:09
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
But that's what I'm trying to find out.
1:11
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
And people don't want to know.
1:14
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Everybody's like that.
1:15
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
It's not just you.
1:16
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Right.
1:18
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Okay.
1:18
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I do want to know.
1:20
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I want to know why.
1:21
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Yeah, you want to know,
1:22
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
but you're unconscious.
1:23
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
But there's a part of you...
1:25
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
That doesn't want to know.
1:26
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
That doesn't want to know.
1:27
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
So I need to...
1:29
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
You want to know how you're going to know.
1:31
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
But that's where my work comes.
1:33
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Right.
1:33
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
And so to help you,
1:36
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
what do you want me...
1:38
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
No, it won't...
1:41
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
It won't come like that.
1:42
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
It comes in a way in which you don't know what you're doing,
1:46
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
maybe,
1:47
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
because otherwise you're resisting it.
1:50
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
You know,
1:52
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
that's my work,
1:53
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
is to understand what's going on that's affecting you
1:57
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
that you don't know and that you project onto other people.
2:01
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I have found it hard to get to that with you.
2:04
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I do to lots of people.
2:09
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
So it's difficult in general for a lot of people?
2:12
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Yes,
2:13
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
it is.
2:15
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I think you've been stronger in one way,
2:18
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
though, because you've brought practically every time the same
2:22
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
kind of thing,
2:23
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
which I've said to you many times.
2:26
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
People don't do it quite like that.
2:29
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
So that's why I see it.
2:32
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
It doesn't mean,
2:32
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
you know,
2:34
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I think what you told me today was...
2:38
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Probably a good thing you said about your illness.
2:41
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Yeah.
2:41
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
That you're sick and you're always going to the doctor.
2:46
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
You always got something.
2:47
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
And then,
2:49
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
because what happened is,
2:51
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
something you didn't know,
2:52
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
suddenly you coughed.
2:54
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Yeah.
2:54
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
And you showed me how,
2:56
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
when we started to talk about something,
2:59
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
how you changed it.
3:01
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
And then how you...
3:03
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
That's how you displayed your resistance or how
3:07
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
things go into the physical for you.
3:11
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
So you didn't try and show me,
3:14
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
it just came.
3:15
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
And I can see that.
3:17
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
It's interesting because my assumption was,
3:20
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
we're sitting outside,
3:21
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
is there something going on in the air that's making me do that?
3:25
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
But what you're also saying is that it could
3:29
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
be of...
3:30
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
something again on another level that made it come out.
3:34
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Because it's so illogical how I start choking.
3:37
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Yeah.
3:39
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Now,
3:39
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I remember having somebody who said he
3:44
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
thought he was having a heart attack or something like
3:48
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
that.
3:48
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
And every time we mentioned something that was very personal.
3:55
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
His arm hurt him or something like that.
3:58
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
It happened all the time.
3:59
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Right.
4:00
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Now, he didn't manufacture it,
4:04
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
but it showed me.
4:05
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Yeah.
4:06
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
It showed me what it
4:10
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
was.
4:11
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
It didn't show me the exact thing,
4:14
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
but it showed me that there was something.
4:17
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Whenever we talked about this personal thing,
4:20
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
that's happened.
4:21
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Okay.
4:23
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I'm not about to jump off a building or to do that.
4:27
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
So don't get excited in that way.
4:31
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
But I do get to the point of saying,
4:34
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
you know what?
4:35
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I don't want to grow old.
4:37
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I don't.
4:38
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I'm sick and tired.
4:40
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
OK,
4:41
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
that's interesting.
4:42
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Why don't you want to grow old?
4:44
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I think maybe because I'm bored of my life.
4:48
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I'm sick and tired of repetitiveness,
4:51
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
of things going on,
4:52
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
physical health,
4:54
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
teeth,
4:56
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
all the things I've told you about.
4:58
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I'm bored with it.
5:00
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I feel like I've done it all.
5:01
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I've seen it all.
5:02
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
What more have I gotten up for
5:06
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
in life?
5:07
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I'm done.
5:09
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
It's just like...
5:11
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
And yet you don't want to grow old,
5:12
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
so you don't want to die then.
5:14
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
No, no, no,
5:15
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
no. I don't want to grow...
5:17
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Continue like this.
5:18
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Continue, yeah.
5:19
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I don't want to live to being old.
5:22
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I'm bored of it.
5:23
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I feel I've had my experiences in life,
5:27
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
where I've travelled in South America.
5:29
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I've had this job,
5:30
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I've done this,
5:31
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I've done that.
5:31
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
What have you done that you'd like?
5:34
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
There's one thing that I'd like to do is probably
5:38
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
be in a warmer climate away from the whole busy,
5:42
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
mad life.
5:43
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
So why don't you do it?
5:44
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Maybe you're giving,
5:45
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
maybe,
5:46
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
all this about having to do...
5:50
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Sort this out and sort that out and sort this out and sort that out.
5:54
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
It's your way of keeping you from doing that.
5:57
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I'm nervous for one,
6:01
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
let's say in a year or whenever I decide,
6:04
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
right, I'm going to go off.
6:06
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I'm not just talking about for a holiday.
6:08
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I'm not talking about a week or two.
6:09
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I want to be in a quiet way of life.
6:12
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I've had enough of city life.
6:13
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I want to be in a warmer climate.
6:16
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
This is where my ideas of Costa Rica or Panama.
6:20
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I'm trying to think even logically all my belongings,
6:24
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
how I put everything together and I find all of that overwhelming.
6:31
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
all the chores to get there.
6:34
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Because I spend...
6:36
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
It's like packing.
6:37
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Yeah, but all I do is I'm problem solving most
6:42
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
of the week,
6:42
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
ringing up this company,
6:44
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
sorting this out,
6:45
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
working out how I can earn some extra money to do some market.
6:49
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Okay, but that's different.
6:50
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
The fact of that's different,
6:53
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
it's not like you're sorting out your old problems.
6:57
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
If you need to earn the money,
6:59
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
you have to do that in order to leave.
7:02
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
That's a small slice of it,
7:05
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
but I am very nervous about...
7:10
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
going into,
7:11
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
let's say,
7:11
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
a place where I won't know anyone,
7:14
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
starting from scratch,
7:16
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
from the unknown.
7:17
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I think,
7:18
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
though, that might be the only solution in my life to have
7:22
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
a new...
7:24
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Beginning.
7:24
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Yeah,
7:25
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
chapter,
7:25
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
fresh book,
7:27
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
away from this repetitive nonsense.
7:30
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Is that real?
7:33
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Does that help?
7:34
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Well,
7:39
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
yes.
7:41
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
But
7:46
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
you need to earn the money.
7:49
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Or don't you?
7:50
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Could you go now?
7:51
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Go there and earn some money.
7:54
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
But there's lots to think about.
7:57
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
If I was to leave somewhere,
7:59
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
citizenship,
8:00
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
how long I could stay there,
8:01
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
all these things.
8:02
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
And I find so many things overwhelming and there's only so
8:06
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
much I can do in one day.
8:08
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
And I'm not alone there because I know everyone in
8:12
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
life is on this hard treadmill.
8:15
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
But I just feel sometimes it's...
8:18
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I can't deal with all the things.
8:21
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
And the emotion.
8:22
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
It's just like I sort out one problem and
8:27
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
then ten things all get thrown.
8:29
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
And the best way that I illustrate
8:33
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
it, I may have said it to you before,
8:35
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I'm at an airport with the electronic belt
8:39
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
that pulls you along.
8:40
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I'm trying to run in the opposite direction.
8:44
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
And as I say as another example,
8:47
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
my life feels like a jigsaw puzzle where
8:51
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
all the pieces have come out of place and I'm trying to find which
8:56
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
goes where.
8:57
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
And
9:02
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
you know one other thing,
9:03
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I don't know if this is useful or relevant.
9:05
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I'm very aware of the problems with the anti
9:09
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
-jew and all of that.
9:12
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I switch off.
9:13
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I don't watch the television.
9:14
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I don't get involved.
9:16
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I can't take that on.
9:17
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I'm very aware it's going on.
9:20
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Years ago,
9:21
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I did so much advocacy against anti -Semitism,
9:25
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
anti -Israel.
9:26
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I did all of that.
9:27
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
And I think,
9:28
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
what did it achieve in my life?
9:30
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
What changed?
9:31
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
And I think I wasted a lot of time and energy
9:35
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
in that.
9:37
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I can't go back because it's happened in the past.
9:39
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I don't know why I did it,
9:41
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
but I was very passionate about it.
9:43
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Does that help in any...
9:46
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Well, that tells me something.
9:50
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
You know,
9:51
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
it tells me something.
9:52
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
But it's interesting.
9:53
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
And that you don't want to go back into it.
9:56
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Yeah, it's very interesting now.
10:00
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
In life, all the problems going on,
10:03
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I notice the fear in so many people,
10:05
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
not just the due hatred and all of those problems,
10:08
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
but in life,
10:10
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
the fear from the media,
10:12
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
from this,
10:13
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
from that.
10:13
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
And I understand why people feel that.
10:16
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
And I think that's not my movie anymore.
10:18
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I can't get involved.
10:20
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I've got my own movie to be dealing with.
10:22
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I'm
10:27
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
not saying you should.
10:28
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Yeah, yeah.
10:29
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Do you think you should?
10:31
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
No.
10:31
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
So that's good.
10:33
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
So there's one problem that you're not taking on.
10:36
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
No, because I couldn't be able to deal with it.
10:40
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
A guy triggered me off a few
10:44
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
weeks ago, a French guy.
10:45
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
He said,
10:46
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
oh yes, I'm very aware of anti -Semitism,
10:51
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
but I don't know anyone,
10:55
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
no Israelis,
10:57
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
because I see Israelis.
10:59
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Like the Nazis.
11:00
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
And I'm thinking,
11:02
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I'm not even going to go down there.
11:04
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
But that felt very,
11:06
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
you know,
11:07
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
how can you generalize,
11:08
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
like, talking about every Israeli.
11:11
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Yeah, the government is another story,
11:14
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
like everywhere in the world.
11:15
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
But that really affected me for three,
11:19
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
four days.
11:19
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
So the interesting thing is,
11:22
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
this guy is not nothing to live in my life.
11:26
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
But that comment about...
11:30
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
You know, you know why?
11:31
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
He said,
11:32
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
tell me more.
11:33
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Send me some videos so I can understand.
11:35
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
So I've sent him six,
11:37
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
seven videos.
11:38
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I did it because he asked me,
11:41
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
which is not the case,
11:42
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
but what I'm aware of,
11:44
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
how it affects me emotionally,
11:46
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
how it got me so worked up.
11:48
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
And I thought,
11:49
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
what were you worked up about?
11:50
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Because it felt like I was going in my part of
11:55
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
having to justify and show this and prove this.
11:57
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
And it got,
11:59
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
you know.
12:00
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I came to that only because we're talking about emotions.
12:04
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Yes.
12:05
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
And we're talking
12:10
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
about the past and how the past affects the present.
12:13
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
But somehow that experience,
12:16
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
somehow,
12:17
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I don't know,
12:20
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
you're still in it by being so emotional about
12:24
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
it.
12:25
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Yeah.
12:25
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
You know,
12:27
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I'm not saying you can go back to it.
12:29
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Emotions.
12:31
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
how that small,
12:32
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
that thing got me so triggered for three,
12:35
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
four days.
12:36
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Why,
12:37
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
though?
12:37
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Good question.
12:39
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Why did it?
12:41
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Was it looking at the way you were before?
12:44
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Or was it,
12:45
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
or was it making yourself
12:49
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
feel upset because you're not getting involved in
12:53
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
it? I'm,
12:55
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I think it may,
12:58
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
and I used the word may,
12:59
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
felt like
13:02
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I was going into my past life of what I was involved
13:06
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
with, all the emotions and fighting.
13:08
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
That stronger resonates with
13:12
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
me.
13:12
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
When I look at everyone going on to demonstrations
13:17
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
and doing that,
13:18
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I'm not feeling,
13:20
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
oh, I need to be there.
13:21
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
So I don't feel strongly.
13:30
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
But are you afraid,
13:31
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
though, that if you go into a new city that you don't know anybody,
13:36
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
that the Jewish thing,
13:38
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
you
13:42
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
may not feel safe?
13:43
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
You know what?
13:45
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Whereas because you know people here...
13:49
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
There is a bit of that.
13:51
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
But I've also got the level of...
13:54
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I don't necessarily need to be surrounded by loads of Jewish people.
13:59
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
But...
14:07
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I also sometimes think and I'm not saying oh if I wasn't
14:11
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Jewish but I say being Jewish seems to be a heavy
14:15
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
price because it's just like why can't I be like Joe
14:19
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Bloggs where everyone's so obsessed and
14:23
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
you know it's just like there's enough problems and
14:28
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
troubles having to navigate and I just feel this whole kind of it's
14:32
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
almost like the moment anyone
14:35
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Here's the word that your Jewish is straight away.
14:38
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
It's like your one is being judged from the outside.
14:41
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Because I
14:46
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
don't even have to be having a conversation by saying I'm
14:50
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Jewish. I could be going to meeting strangers and their conversation
14:55
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
may start talking about Jews and the ancestors of Israel straight
14:59
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
away.
15:00
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
You're affected.
15:01
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I'm affected.
15:01
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Without them even knowing that I'm Jewish.
15:05
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Yeah.
15:06
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Yeah.
15:08
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
And that's the part where I think...
15:09
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Well, no, but that's understandable.
15:11
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Yeah.
15:12
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
It doesn't...
15:13
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
The fact is,
15:14
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
it's your feeling.
15:15
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Yeah.
15:16
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
And it's about you.
15:17
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Yeah.
15:18
S… Speaker 3 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
But it
15:31
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
isn't about people getting at you that affects
15:36
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
you.
15:36
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
It's that you can easily be gotten to,
15:40
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
easily be threatened,
15:42
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
easily be...
15:46
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
But in that example where someone doesn't
15:50
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
even know me and people could...
15:52
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
But you're judging yourself,
15:53
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
aren't you?
15:54
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
But where does the judgment come from?
15:57
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Where is it?
15:58
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
That's what I mean.
16:00
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Who in the past has judged you?
16:03
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
My mother.
16:04
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Very clearly.
16:08
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Okay.
16:09
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
And in a way,
16:12
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
a lot of the talk we've had about
16:17
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
people...
16:18
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Friends, it's about them judging you.
16:21
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Yes. So my mother,
16:23
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
yes.
16:23
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
So there's where your mother is.
16:26
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
And I think,
16:30
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
this is what I've seen a lot of actually,
16:35
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
a lot of people have got,
16:38
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
no matter if they love a person,
16:41
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
there's a lot of anger towards them,
16:44
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
especially when they've died.
16:46
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
And they cannot bear to feel it.
16:50
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
They can't bear to feel it.
16:52
S… Speaker 3 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
And
16:57
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
they don't know they have it.
16:58
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
And that's
17:02
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
what they're resisting.
17:03
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
And sometimes the fear
17:07
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
is that if you...
17:09
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I just had this recently.
17:11
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
If you are angry,
17:14
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
there's a fear that you might kill them.
17:19
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
That your anger is so strong.
17:22
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
that it can harm them.
17:24
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
It can harm them.
17:27
S… Speaker 3 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I
17:31
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
know somebody felt that if they were angry
17:36
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
with me because I was in the hospital or I had my thing,
17:39
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
they didn't feel angry.
17:40
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
But they know they were.
17:43
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
And that if they allowed themselves to show it to me,
17:47
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I might die.
17:48
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
For some reason I might die in
17:52
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
the hospital.
17:54
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
And they didn't want that.
17:55
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Can you understand that somebody
18:00
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
feeling that?
18:00
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Yes.
18:02
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
So I'm saying
18:07
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
that I wonder if there's also that in you.
18:10
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
That if you felt angry with your mother,
18:13
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
really angry with her,
18:16
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
people can love somebody
18:20
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
and hate them at the same time.
18:22
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
And it's not forever.
18:25
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Oh, I'd get angry with my mother at times.
18:28
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
When she would,
18:30
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
for example,
18:31
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I may have said it in the past.
18:32
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
But you're crying all the time about your mother.
18:35
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
It's not about your anger,
18:37
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
is it?
18:38
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
You're crying,
18:40
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
you miss her,
18:40
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
you think about her.
18:43
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
maybe you should have done differently when you were younger you
18:47
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
maybe you should have given her a ride up that hill or something like you said
18:51
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
yeah these are the yeah and I gave her rides
18:55
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
a lot of the time there were on occasions
18:59
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
It wasn't easy because I was doing something else.
19:02
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
And my mother would go hysterical and slam
19:06
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
the front door and start...
19:08
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
That you had to do it.
19:09
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Well, yeah,
19:10
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
and I'd go chasing after her because of her health
19:14
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
condition with her emphysema.
19:16
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
But she never...
19:17
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
Let's say I was on an important phone call and then she
19:21
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
wants to go out.
19:23
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
You had to do it.
19:24
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
It's just like,
19:25
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
stop everything for me.
19:26
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I'm sorry,
19:27
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
I'm on the phone.
19:28
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
and and and give me five minutes so this would
19:32
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
it wouldn't happen regularly but every so often so she
19:37
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
would go and i need to go now no
19:42
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
i need to go now so she'd go out in a half path and then
19:47
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
after i'd finished the call then i'd pick her up on route and take her
19:51
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
the rest of the way that was quite common yeah
19:56
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
That's giving in, isn't it? It's giving in to her.
20:00
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
temper tantrum yeah she's having a temper tantrum yeah and
20:05
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
you found it difficult to stand up
20:09
S… Speaker 1 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
to that because you felt for your mother you felt you
20:13
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
didn't want her to i didn't want her to be i didn't want to because she'd get out of breath of
20:18
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
going up to a heel so i was doing it from a practical level
20:22
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
because i don't didn't want her to be hard but i was frustrated with
20:26
S… Speaker 2 (Anna Mae 2026_05_12_12_52_35)
her because

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