Soo bandhigida oo keliya
0:00
S… Speaker 1 (1779813033818)
I wish I had a bumper sticker that just said,
0:02
S… Speaker 1 (1779813033818)
impasse happens,
0:03
S… Speaker 1 (1779813033818)
because it's so normal,
0:05
S… Speaker 1 (1779813033818)
and we should just be calm in the face of it,
0:07
S… Speaker 1 (1779813033818)
and we shouldn't get all riled up and upset and say,
0:10
S… Speaker 1 (1779813033818)
oh my God, we're at impasse.
0:11
S… Speaker 1 (1779813033818)
Because easy conversation isn't usually what happens
0:15
S… Speaker 1 (1779813033818)
in mediation.
0:16
S… Speaker 1 (1779813033818)
The opportunities for impasse are numerous.
0:18
S… Speaker 1 (1779813033818)
They can be process impasse,
0:20
S… Speaker 1 (1779813033818)
I don't like the way this is going.
0:22
S… Speaker 1 (1779813033818)
It can be outcome impasse,
0:23
S… Speaker 1 (1779813033818)
I don't want the deal.
0:24
S… Speaker 1 (1779813033818)
It can be personal impasse.
0:27
S… Speaker 1 (1779813033818)
Well, I'll accept that if they say it,
0:29
S… Speaker 1 (1779813033818)
but not if that person says it.
0:30
S… Speaker 1 (1779813033818)
So because there's so many opportunities for it,
0:33
S… Speaker 1 (1779813033818)
we should look at it as a chance for opportunity rather than a chance
0:37
S… Speaker 1 (1779813033818)
for despair and a chance for,
0:39
S… Speaker 1 (1779813033818)
oh my God, we're stuck.
0:40
S… Speaker 1 (1779813033818)
We're not stuck.
0:41
S… Speaker 1 (1779813033818)
We have a timeframe.
0:45
S… Speaker 1 (1779813033818)
We were now dealing with two areas of disagreement and we're going to work through it.
0:48
S… Speaker 1 (1779813033818)
So to me,
0:50
S… Speaker 1 (1779813033818)
part of it is
0:52
S… Speaker 1 (1779813033818)
taking the time to figure out what the impasse is about.
0:54
S… Speaker 1 (1779813033818)
Instead of saying,
0:56
S… Speaker 1 (1779813033818)
wait a minute, you might use a technique that's not going to work at all simply because you haven't
1:00
S… Speaker 1 (1779813033818)
taken the time to figure out what caused the impasse in the first place.
1:04
S… Speaker 1 (1779813033818)
You're looking at it from the superficial level.
1:06
S… Speaker 1 (1779813033818)
I'm not going to agree to the money.
1:08
S… Speaker 2 (1779813033818)
Why?
1:10
S… Speaker 1 (1779813033818)
Because it's not fair.
1:11
S… Speaker 1 (1779813033818)
Okay.
1:11
S… Speaker 1 (1779813033818)
And then try to fix it rather than to say,
1:14
S… Speaker 1 (1779813033818)
maybe what does fairness look like to you?
1:18
S… Speaker 1 (1779813033818)
Because it could be legal fairness,
1:19
S… Speaker 1 (1779813033818)
it could be equitable fairness,
1:21
S… Speaker 1 (1779813033818)
it could be fairness according to my faith,
1:22
S… Speaker 1 (1779813033818)
it could be fairness according to my culture.
1:24
S… Speaker 1 (1779813033818)
Not taking the time to figure out what created the
1:29
S… Speaker 1 (1779813033818)
impasse is huge.
1:31
S… Speaker 1 (1779813033818)
We can't leap in and try to break through an impasse until
1:35
S… Speaker 1 (1779813033818)
we've figured out what caused the impasse in the first place.

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