2026_11_08_13_40_48
Nov 08, 2026 16:22
· 1:57:02
· English
· Whisper Turbo
· 8 Ομιλητές
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0:02
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Okay, cool.
0:03
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Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Maybe she closed it.
0:04
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Speaker 3 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
There are
1:04
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Speaker 3 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
cats everywhere.
1:07
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Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
There's four cats.
1:09
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Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Leave
1:31
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
that up to the girls.
1:32
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Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Where would you like to be,
1:34
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Emily? Do
1:44
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
you guys want to set the kitchen table?
1:46
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Everyone's
2:05
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
going to have one of these.
2:06
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
That's how we're going to keep it.
2:08
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Speaker 3 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
One
2:16
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Speaker 3 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
closed.
2:17
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Speaker 3 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
No
2:54
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
object of curiosity.
2:55
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Speaker 3 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Time
3:31
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Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
afterwards, girls.
3:32
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Speaker 3 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Come
3:50
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Speaker 3 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
on then.
3:50
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Speaker 3 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Can
4:40
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
I sleep, Becky?
4:41
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Speaker 3 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Welcome.
6:03
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
What we said we would do is Emily has a
6:07
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
go. Talk about what her
6:11
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
experience has been,
6:13
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
what her boundaries are,
6:15
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
as appropriate.
6:16
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
I will help if necessary.
6:19
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
I will kick off if need be,
6:21
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
because it can be hard to be the first one to speak.
6:23
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Then Bethany has a go.
6:26
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
And then Mum has a go.
6:29
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
And likewise,
6:31
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Bethany,
6:32
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
if you are struggling with anything,
6:34
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
you don't want to say it,
6:35
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
you want me to say it.
6:36
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
I will do that.
6:38
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
We'll take notes.
6:41
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
I didn't bring a pen,
6:43
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
which is rather marvellous of me.
6:46
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Speaker 3 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Thank
6:59
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
you very much.
7:00
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Blah,
7:04
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
blah, blah.
7:04
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Speaker 3 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
It'll
7:09
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
be phonal writing on here according to what
7:13
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
it is I'm taking down.
7:15
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Right,
7:18
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
so we're not going to interrupt each other.
7:20
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
We're not going to call each other names or say
7:26
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
why we think somebody did something.
7:29
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
We're not going to have a go and
7:34
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
tell anybody that they're like X or Y.
7:37
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
We're just going to say what happened and how it made us
7:41
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
feel. We're
7:46
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
not going to talk about changing anything today.
7:50
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
And we're not going to ask for answers or coming to
7:54
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
any kind of agreement.
7:55
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Anyone,
7:57
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
me included,
7:58
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
can ask for a pause if things are getting too difficult.
8:02
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
And just because you're listening to what someone else
8:06
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
is saying doesn't mean that you're agreeing with it.
8:10
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
You are just giving them space to talk.
8:14
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Now, and likewise,
8:16
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
acknowledging the impact that something has had on
8:20
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
someone doesn't mean that you accept everything that they said.
8:23
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
That goes for everyone here.
8:25
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
The experience is real,
8:29
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
even if details are misremembered or not complete.
8:33
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Okay?
8:34
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Everyone all right with that?
8:37
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Are you okay with that,
8:41
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Sophie?
8:41
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Right.
8:46
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Speaker 3 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Emily,
8:47
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
here's the notes that we had for you.
8:51
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Do you want to talk?
8:52
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Yeah.
8:54
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Speaker 5 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
No?
8:54
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Speaker 5 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
I don't want to do first.
8:56
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Speaker 3 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
What
9:02
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
don't you want to do?
9:03
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Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
I don't want to go first.
9:05
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
You don't want to go first?
9:06
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Okay,
9:07
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Bethany, do you want to go first?
9:09
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Because this will be awkward if nobody
9:13
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
goes first,
9:14
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
or at least gives me permission to speak from their notes.
9:18
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Speaker 3 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Emily,
9:24
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
can I speak from your notes?
9:25
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Speaker 5 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Okay.
9:26
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Speaker 6 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Okay,
9:28
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
I'll do that.
9:29
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Will you be able to fill in if I start?
9:34
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
i get that it's hard to start maybe
9:38
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
okay so um
9:44
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
things that emily wanted to say there may well be more
9:48
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
but these are the things that we've got a note of emily
9:53
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
feels that mum often decides what somebody
9:57
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
means or why they acted
10:00
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
then responds to her explanation that she has invented
10:04
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
instead of asking and listening.
10:06
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
When that happens and
10:10
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Emily tries to correct an assumption,
10:12
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
the conversation often becomes about mum's
10:17
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
annoyance,
10:18
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
tone or mum feeling attacked.
10:21
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
When Emily mumbles
10:26
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
or leaves,
10:28
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
It usually means that she can't find the words and doesn't
10:32
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
believe that the conversation can progress.
10:34
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
It is not intended as a punishment.
10:38
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
One thing that
10:42
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Emily needs is that it is acknowledged when
10:46
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
those assumptions have been made,
10:48
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
an apology for doing so,
10:51
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
and genuine space without being required
10:55
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
to reassure you.
10:58
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
to say what it is she wants to say and give any explanation that
11:02
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
she wants to give without
11:06
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
mum getting ahead of what it is she's actually
11:10
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
saying.
11:11
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Specific
11:17
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
objections about a particular thing that's happened or a circumstance are
11:21
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
sometimes turned into a general
11:25
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
criticism of Emily,
11:28
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
such as always a no from Emily.
11:34
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
She also wanted to say,
11:36
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
because I am the parent,
11:38
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
or it is my house,
11:40
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
is not by itself an adequate answer to a reasonable boundary
11:44
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
or request for compromise.
11:46
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
She wants to make it clear
11:50
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
that this is a long -standing pattern,
11:52
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
not a single incident.
11:54
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
One apology can't
11:58
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
undo it,
11:59
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
and Emily doesn't want...
12:04
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
forgiveness or putting things right discussed or expected now
12:08
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
another thing that Emily wanted
12:12
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
to another point Emily wanted to make is that she's choosing
12:17
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
not to tolerate the behavior whether she
12:21
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
could or not she feels that she shouldn't have to teach an adult
12:25
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
why it's hurtful or take responsibility for repairing the relationship
12:30
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
while the behavior is not acknowledged
12:36
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
So that's what was in your notes.
12:38
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Do you have anything to add to that?
12:39
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Speaker 3 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Not really.
12:44
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Speaker 3 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
All I
12:49
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Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
can think of.
12:50
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Okay.
12:52
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Bethany,
12:54
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
do you want to go?
12:56
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Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
That's
13:05
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
why you have notes to remind you of the things that you want to
13:11
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Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
do.
13:11
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Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Why
13:17
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
not go through the points that you have and then add to them?
13:20
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Because there are a couple of other things that you said you would remember that
13:25
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
we have nonetheless written down.
13:35
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Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Do you want me to
13:44
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Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
start?
13:44
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Speaker 3 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Okay.
13:56
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Why don't I do the same that I did for Emily to begin with and
14:01
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
then I'll fill in with the stuff that
14:05
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
we talked about and then you can expand on it if you want to.
14:09
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Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Sorry?
14:12
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Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
I don't like talking.
14:14
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
You do not like talking.
14:16
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
I'm going to put an ear ball in so that I can
14:20
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
hear you because you're both quite muttery.
14:24
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
personal sound amplifier yes in no way a hearing aid personal
14:31
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
sound amplifier oh god
14:38
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Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
now i can hear everything nonetheless
14:43
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
it
14:47
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
does mean i am now likely to be able to hear you when you speak which can only be a good
14:51
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
thing okay
14:55
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
so i think
15:00
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
These are very much in no particular order.
15:04
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Bethany experienced
15:09
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
a conversation that you had recently in the car as,
15:12
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
I miss you and want things to go back,
15:14
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
but if you don't say yes,
15:16
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
I might give up and move to Birmingham.
15:17
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
That was the message that...
15:22
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
That was the message that Bethany took from it.
15:25
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
She's not claiming those were your exact words,
15:27
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
but that's what she remembered when she got back and got
15:31
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
out of the car.
15:32
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Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
I'll explain that later when it's my turn.
15:35
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
She doesn't want to experience
15:39
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
pressure to return to previous living arrangements or to
15:43
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
keep discussing it until it's agreed.
15:45
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
She wants me present
15:49
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
for difficult conversations.
15:53
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
and she feels that support that she needs,
15:56
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
not something that she should feel bad about asking for.
15:59
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Her reasons
16:03
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
overlap with Emily's,
16:05
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
but are her own.
16:06
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Speaker 3 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
We'll
16:12
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
jump here,
16:13
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
actually, because some of this is for you to fill in if you want to.
16:16
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
So a couple of things that you mentioned earlier when we've gone
16:20
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
through this.
16:21
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
talked about it.
16:22
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
You said you get anxious before coming here and
16:27
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
you don't like it.
16:28
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Something
16:33
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
else that particularly upsets
16:37
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
or angers you is everything being
16:41
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
related back to sometimes autistic people
16:46
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
or people with ADHD are like X and
16:50
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Y putting you into a box.
16:54
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Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
based on a bunch of labels rather than knowing you.
16:59
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Okay?
17:04
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
And sometimes
17:08
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
those things aren't even true,
17:09
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
although I don't think that's the main point,
17:11
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
is it?
17:12
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
The point, even if it is true,
17:13
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
is Bethany is Bethany.
17:15
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
She's not a walking
17:19
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
set of ADHD or autism symptoms.
17:22
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Ditto,
17:23
S…
Speaker 6 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Emily.
17:27
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Bethany also feels that her experiences get
17:31
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
invalidated with counterexamples from other people.
17:35
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
A recent instance of
17:39
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
that would be when she was in a real state about going into
17:43
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
school and you told
17:48
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
her that...
17:50
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
She's actually lucky because a friend of yours,
17:55
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
the daughter of a friend of yours.
17:57
S…
Speaker 7 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
That's not quite right.
17:58
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Because we were in the car driving to school and
18:02
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
I was crying because I did not want to go to school.
18:04
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
And then mum was talking about her
18:09
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
friend's child who has anger issues
18:13
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
and gets pulled off and fights with her mum and stuff.
18:16
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Yes.
18:17
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Yeah.
18:17
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
I don't know who that is.
18:20
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
And you don't want your experiences compared to third
18:24
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
parties who may or may not have been through something similar.
18:27
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Your experiences are your experiences.
18:30
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
And
18:35
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
this,
18:41
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
I could not speak to specifics because you didn't at the time,
18:45
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
so we didn't capture them.
18:46
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
But you find that school mornings are very different.
18:51
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
at my house to how things are done at mum's and you just like
18:55
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
it way better the way that we do things but i don't know what those specifics
18:59
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
are okay
19:12
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
mem i'm gonna come back
19:16
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
to you for a minute is there anything else you want to say if you want to you can talk to me and
19:20
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
mum can hear it oh
19:24
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
yeah i also like i forget like i forgot about like
19:29
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
i forgot about that bit before but also um but
19:34
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
also i have found
19:37
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
The same thing Beth has where
19:41
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
I've
19:46
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
felt my experiences have also been invalidated,
19:51
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
like what's wrong now?
19:55
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Yeah, invalidated is the opposite,
19:57
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
that's right.
19:58
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Yeah.
20:00
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Because, yeah,
20:03
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
like,
20:04
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
especially stuff that happened to both me
20:09
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
and Beth,
20:09
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
like,
20:10
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
the first time,
20:12
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
then,
20:13
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
like,
20:14
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
when it happened to me,
20:15
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
then it wasn't validated.
20:19
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
But then when it happened to Beth,
20:21
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
it happened much less,
20:23
S…
Speaker 3 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
like...
20:24
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Okay.
20:28
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Actually,
20:30
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
there was something we were going to...
20:33
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
There was another specific for Bethany,
20:36
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
and I don't know if this feels the same for you,
20:39
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Emily, but Bethany,
20:41
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
what came up when we were sort of capturing things that
20:45
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
you wanted to talk about,
20:46
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
that you're not responsible for where mum decides to
20:50
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
live, her work,
20:51
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
her life structure,
20:52
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
her happiness,
20:53
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
or her relationship with Emily.
20:56
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
It's not your fault,
20:59
S…
Speaker 8 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
not your problem.
21:00
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Okay.
21:06
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Does any of that resonate with you,
21:09
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Emily? I mean,
21:13
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
it is true.
21:15
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Okay.
21:32
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Have
21:38
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
a look at this line,
21:39
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Bethany.
21:41
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Just read this and see if there's anything else you want to say on the subject.
21:45
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Because they're things you've brought up in general terms.
22:07
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
It's one of those things,
22:08
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
isn't it?
22:08
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
You'll remember absolutely everything that had ever crossed your mind an
22:12
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
hour from now on where I am.
22:14
S…
Speaker 3 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Always the way.
22:17
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Are
22:26
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
you asking me to remind you of something?
22:28
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Well,
22:34
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
literally, read the whole sentence.
22:36
S…
Speaker 3 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Do
22:40
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
you want to explain how any of those things have affected you?
22:44
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
No, I don't understand.
22:45
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Well,
22:51
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
you've mentioned feeling like you're an afterthought sometimes,
22:55
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
secondary to other priorities.
23:13
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Don't worry about it.
23:14
S…
Speaker 5 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Don't push it.
23:15
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
There's no...
23:16
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
I'm not going to make anybody speak for the
23:21
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
whole time that we've allowed.
23:23
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Okay.
23:33
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
You had something
23:37
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
to say before about missed appointments.
23:41
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
I'm
23:46
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
not going to put words in your mouth.
23:48
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
If it's not coming to mind,
23:49
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
we'll just leave it.
23:50
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
I mean,
23:52
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
missed.
23:56
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
It
24:10
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
was an important appointment.
24:15
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
It was a bit sad.
24:16
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
It was like the ADHD referral or
24:20
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
something.
24:21
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
And then there was something to do with...
24:24
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
We're at cross purposes.
24:25
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
When you said missed appointment...
24:27
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Oh,
24:30
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
yeah.
24:30
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
There was...
24:31
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
I was...
24:32
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Like, there was those as well.
24:34
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
But you're talking about the one that I couldn't attend.
24:36
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Please don't...
24:38
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
That's one of the things they don't like.
24:40
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
You're trying to interpret for her.
24:42
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
From what I'm getting,
24:44
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
it's both.
24:46
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
It's all of the above, it's not one or the other.
25:00
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
I don't know what you needed to do with your band and I
25:04
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
don't know why it was more important than the appointment.
25:06
S…
Speaker 3 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Okay.
25:11
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Do either
25:15
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
of you guys have anything you want to say?
25:17
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
And
25:23
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
that car just blinded me.
25:25
S…
Speaker 3 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Okay.
25:28
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Emily,
25:31
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
have you got anything you want to add?
25:32
S…
Speaker 3 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Okay.
25:56
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Right.
25:57
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
In which case,
25:58
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
it is Mum's turn.
25:59
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
And that means I will be busily taking
26:03
S…
Speaker 3 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
notes.
26:04
S…
Speaker 3 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Same
26:09
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
courtesy, please,
26:10
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
to Mum that she extended to you.
26:12
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
You are listening.
26:13
S…
Speaker 3 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
And
26:20
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
for the record,
26:21
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
a factual correction would be on whether or not something happened,
26:24
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
not on which event someone is talking about.
26:27
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
So, same applies to you guys.
26:28
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Mum needs to clarify which event she was talking about.
26:32
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Let her do that.
26:33
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
OK.
26:36
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Right.
26:37
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Go.
26:38
S…
Speaker 3 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Was
26:56
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
it supposed to be clearer after the
27:00
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
two of you had spoken what I've done?
27:04
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Because it isn't.
27:07
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
I mean,
27:11
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
yeah, I've written some things down,
27:13
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
taking it on board,
27:14
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
but it's all rather vague.
27:16
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
I feel as
27:22
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
if I would understand it better if there was a specific example
27:26
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
or two that I could remember happening.
27:32
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Like what?
27:32
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Like an example for which one?
27:34
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Well, let me say,
27:36
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
I'm just looking at Emily.
27:37
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
When I'm
27:41
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
struggling to understand Emily,
27:43
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
apparently I have a habit of,
27:48
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Emily said,
27:51
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
deciding.
27:52
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
I think of it more as suggesting what someone
27:56
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
means to try and get the feedback because,
28:03
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
forgive me
28:12
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
for saying this,
28:13
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Emily, but when you talk sometimes.
28:16
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
There's not much information that comes across.
28:20
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
When you're stressed,
28:21
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
you mumble a lot,
28:23
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
and I can sometimes not make out what you've said properly,
28:26
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
and I have to ask you to repeat it,
28:28
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
which is probably annoying in itself.
28:29
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
And then if I come back to
28:33
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
you with a response suggesting what I've understood your feelings to
28:37
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
be, I think of that as a starting
28:43
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
point for understanding,
28:44
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
not for you to take it as an assumption that I've got your feelings.
28:49
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
incorrect.
28:49
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Anyway,
28:54
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
without a specific
28:58
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
example,
28:59
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
I'd be quite hard pushed to properly
29:04
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
understand
29:09
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
where that has come from.
29:10
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
What
29:14
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
I can take away from it is that when you talk to me,
29:18
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
I'm not responding in the way that you need me to.
29:21
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
However,
29:23
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
I would need more information before I could start
29:27
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
to put that right.
29:37
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
I'm just looking for notes that were made at the time of
29:41
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
one such conversation just in order to help that along.
30:11
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
I think that's going to dry off because I'm in effect.
30:14
S…
Speaker 3 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Let's
30:56
S…
Speaker 3 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
see,
31:05
S…
Speaker 3 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
sorry.
31:06
S…
Speaker 3 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Probably
31:11
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
some thinking time is good.
31:12
S…
Speaker 3 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
If
31:17
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
either of you have a sudden remembrance of something that you...
31:22
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
or you think of
31:26
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
a way to explain something that you couldn't before,
31:28
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
feel free to make some...
31:30
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
I did remember something.
31:33
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Yeah, well,
31:34
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
of course.
31:34
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Writing is...
31:36
S…
Speaker 3 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
it's okay.
31:38
S…
Speaker 2 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
You can write your
31:42
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
own notes that only you understand,
31:43
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
like one -word things.
31:46
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
My notes are things like
31:57
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
this have so many threads that it's hard to keep track
32:01
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
of all of them when you can only follow one at a time.
32:04
S…
Speaker 4 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
So
32:15
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
one instance of this was when
32:20
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
cornered Emily and
32:24
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
asked her why she was acting
32:28
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
like she was cross with you.
32:31
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
And you said,
32:32
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
are you angry?
32:33
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Are you angry with me?
32:34
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
And you said
32:38
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
it was okay if she was angry.
32:42
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
And then you said, I don't want you to come here and feel angry at me all the time.
32:46
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
That would be awful.
32:47
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
And Emily said,
32:50
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
well, it's not.
32:51
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
And it was a hanging sentence and she
32:55
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
was looking for more words.
32:57
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
And then you said, whatever,
32:58
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
it's not anger.
32:58
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
And then Emily said,
33:00
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
well, it's not necessarily that simple at this point.
33:02
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
And then Emily was stumbling a bit and trying to get
33:06
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
a sentence out.
33:07
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
And you
33:11
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
said, all right, we'll leave it there.
33:15
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
So she never did get to say what she wanted,
33:18
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
but also she never said it wasn't anger.
33:21
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
But she
33:25
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
feels like that's the message that you went away with because she
33:29
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
wasn't able to get her sentence out.
33:31
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
You supplied an explanation.
33:32
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
You jumped in while she was trying to find words and
33:36
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
provided an explanation that she
33:40
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
wasn't comfortable with.
33:42
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
She
33:47
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
never completed her thought.
33:53
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
Let's see if I've got anything else that was brought up.
33:56
S…
Speaker 3 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
It
34:11
S…
Speaker 1 (2026_11_08_13_40_48)
was kind of how the conversation started.
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