A mostrar apenas
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
I was in a mediation with a family,
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
two siblings,
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
a brother and a sister.
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
The father had died and left.
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
money for the children's education,
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
his grandchildren's,
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
and the sister was the trustee for all of the children,
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
and so her daughter used hers to go to college,
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
maybe two of them did,
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
and her nephew said,
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
okay, you know,
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
I'm a senior and I'm ready to,
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
I've turned 18,
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
and that was one of the requirements.
0:31
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
So I need my money.
0:32
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
Well, it didn't come.
0:33
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
Again,
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
it didn't come,
0:35
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
and it didn't come.
0:36
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
Finally,
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
she stopped answering his calls,
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
and they showed up at her doorstep,
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
marched her down to the bank,
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
and found out it was gone.
0:44
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
She'd spent it.
0:46
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
And so there was litigation.
0:50
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
And so because I have this practice of interviewing people
0:55
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
ahead of time and the lawyers thought that was a good idea,
0:57
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
I interviewed her.
0:58
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
She said she did it.
1:00
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
She took it.
1:01
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
She needed it because she fell into debt
1:05
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
during the housing downturn.
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
She had leveraged one property to buy another and then she couldn't pay
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
the taxes.
1:12
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
So anyway,
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
she bailed herself out with it and intended to pay it back,
1:16
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
but it didn't happen.
1:20
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
I said in my interview with her,
1:23
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
I said, well,
1:24
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
have you apologized?
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
And she said,
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
apologized?
1:27
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
I am not going to apologize to them.
1:31
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
They sued me.
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
They need to apologize to me.
1:34
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
This is a family affair.
1:36
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
It shouldn't be taken into the courts.
1:38
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
We don't do things like that.
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
And I didn't do that when my brother didn't pay.
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
I didn't expect that.
1:44
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
I had thought,
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
well, we'll say apology.
1:46
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
And she'll say,
1:47
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
yeah, probably I should.
1:49
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
So I thought, OK,
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
fine.
1:50
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
We're not going there.
1:51
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
So they finished.
1:53
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
They got a deal where she paid some of it from her 401k,
1:57
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
and she had a payment plan,
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
which she did follow through.
1:59
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
So at the end,
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
I said,
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
well, you got it all figured out.
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
But I'm wondering,
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
is there anything that you can do to put this family back together?
2:08
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
And the son said,
2:10
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
yeah, she could apologize to me.
2:12
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
So I said,
2:14
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
hmm, this is interesting.
2:16
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
So I said,
2:17
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
well,
2:20
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
what do you think?
2:21
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
And she said,
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
I'm sorry,
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
or some very perfunctory thing.
2:26
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
And I turned back to him and I said,
2:27
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
well, did that,
2:28
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
was that sufficient?
2:30
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
No.
2:31
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
And I said,
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
do you want to try again?
2:33
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
Anyway, we went back and forth and back and forth and back and forth.
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
And she just couldn't really give a full apology.
2:40
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
And this wonderful lawyer that was representing her brother
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
said,
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
I think I know why she's having so much trouble.
2:49
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
And I said,
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
why is that?
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
And she said,
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
it's because she hasn't forgiven herself.
2:54
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
And she burst into tears.
2:56
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
And her family started,
2:59
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
her son started.
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
crying, and she gave the most beautiful,
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
heartfelt apology,
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
accepting full responsibility,
3:08
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
acknowledging the harm that she had done and the regret that she had.
3:12
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
And it was really wonderful.
3:15
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
And she said,
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
I hope you'll forgive me.
3:18
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
And the brother said,
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
well, I already have.
3:20
S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
So,
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
you know,
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S… Speaker 1 (1779722513403)
that's a real apology.

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