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Hey guys,

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tonight we begin with something a little darker.

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A time of plagues,

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punishments and pottage.

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We're diving into what life was really like during the Middle Ages.

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Forget the castles and chivalry Hollywood sold you.

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The truth?

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You probably wouldn't last a single day.

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So before you get comfortable,

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take a moment to like the video and subscribe,

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but only if you genuinely enjoy what I do here.

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And let me know in the comments where you're tuning in from and what time it is for you.

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It's always fascinating to see who's joining us from around the world.

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Now,

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dim the lights,

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maybe turn on a fan for that soft background hum,

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and let's ease into tonight's journey together.

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Congratulations.

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You've just woken up in the year 1325.

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The good news?

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You're alive.

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The bad news?

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So are the fleas.

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Your bed is a half -rotted straw mattress stuffed with bugs and hay that

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smells like a barn floor because it was a barn floor three months ago.

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There's no memory foam,

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no pillows and definitely no Egyptian cotton sheets.

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Just a wool blanket that hasn't been washed since last winter and

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now weighs roughly as much as a small cow from the accumulated grime.

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You blink awake as the church bell clangs in the distance.

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It's the medieval version of an alarm clock,

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only louder and somehow even less merciful.

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Your home is a wooden hut with one room,

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no windows,

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and a charming open concept floor plan where your family,

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livestock and domestic insects all share the same space.

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The smell?

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Oh,

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it's a fragrant symphony.

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A subtle blend of stale beer,

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human sweat,

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goat, and something you pray isn't mould,

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but no in your soul probably is.

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Scented candles haven't been invented,

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and even if they were,

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they'd just melt on your dirt floor.

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You try to stretch,

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but immediately regret it,

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because the air is freezing and your joints ache.

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You're 22 years old,

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which in medieval terms is roughly middle -aged.

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Your spine creaks like an old wooden door,

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and your knees sound like a bag of rocks being shaken by a confused peasant.

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Getting out of bed is a gamble.

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The floor is either wet from last night's rain,

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which leaks through the thatched roof,

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or crusty from something your neighbour's chicken did.

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Either way,

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your bare feet are now part of the ecosystem.

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Oh,

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and privacy.

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What's that?

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Your entire family,

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and maybe a random cousin who just never left,

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are waking up beside you.

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There's no bedroom,

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no curtains,

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no me -time.

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Just communal everything.

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Welcome to morning in medieval Europe.

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where you're never truly alone,

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because parasites,

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rodents,

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and eight other people are always with you.

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And this is just how your day starts.

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It only gets worse from here.

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So,

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you've managed to crawl out of your medieval haystack of horrors.

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Congrats.

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Now nature calls.

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And it's not calling politely.

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It's screaming.

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Here's the part where you start missing the modern bathroom.

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There's no toilet.

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No seat.

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No toilet paper.

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No flush.

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not even a mildly resentful plunger in the corner.

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In the 14th century,

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relieving yourself is an adventure,

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a social experiment,

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and often a small public event.

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If you're a peasant,

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your bathroom is likely a wooden bucket behind the house,

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which is already full because Uncle Wolfstan had a rough night after eating bad

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turnips.

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The smell is biblical.

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You hold your breath,

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do your business,

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and then,

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here's the kicker,

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toss it into the street.

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Yes.

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The street.

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You're supposed to shout something like guardy -loo before

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dumping it out the window.

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That's old French for watch out below,

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although frankly no one ever moves fast enough.

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Streets in medieval towns are open sewers,

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a charming river of human waste,

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animal droppings and mystery liquids you'd rather not examine.

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If you're lucky enough to live in a town with public latrines,

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congratulations.

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You get to sit shoulder to shoulder with strangers in an outhouse where privacy is

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a myth and ventilation is a cruel joke.

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You might make small talk,

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but try not to breathe too deeply.

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Toilet paper?

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Never heard of it.

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Most people wipe with straw,

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leaves, rags,

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moss, or,

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if they're feeling especially indulgent,

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a scrap of wool.

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Sometimes,

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nothing at all.

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Which might explain why handshakes weren't popular yet.

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And if you're in a castle...

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Surely it's better,

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right? Well,

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sort of.

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You might have a garderobe,

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a hole in the wall that drops your waste directly into the moat.

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Great idea.

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Accept that your enemies know this,

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and yes,

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attackers sometimes climbed in through the waste chute.

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Talk about entering through the back door.

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So whether you're a farmer or a baron,

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medieval toileting is a humiliation ritual.

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It's cold,

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it's public,

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it's dangerous,

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and it's never not disgusting.

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One slip on a whetstone path and you're face

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first in humanity's leftovers.

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And you still haven't brushed your teeth.

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But we'll get to that next.

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You survived the toilet.

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You deserve a reward,

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right?

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Maybe a nice breakfast?

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Something warm,

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delicious,

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comforting?

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Sorry,

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this is medieval Europe.

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Nothing is comforting here.

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Breakfast,

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if you can call it that,

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is a grim affair.

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There are no eggs,

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Benedict, no coffee machines sputtering awake,

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and certainly no avocado toast.

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You sit down,

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or squat near the fire,

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to a wooden bowl of something that looks like it was scraped off a muddy boot.

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Welcome to your daily ration of pottage.

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Pottage is a thick,

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gloopy stew made of whatever you can find.

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Grains,

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root vegetables,

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maybe a few beans if you're lucky.

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It's been simmering in the same pot for days,

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sometimes weeks,

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and new ingredients are just dumped on top of the old ones.

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It's less of a recipe and more of an ongoing edible experiment.

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On the side,

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a hunk of bread so hard it could deflect arrows.

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It's made from coarse rye or barley flour,

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often bulked up with sawdust,

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ground up acorns or other creative ingredients,

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because wheat is a rich man's fantasy.

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This loaf is not your friend.

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You don't slice it.

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You negotiate with it.

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What about drinks?

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You're not sipping orange juice or an oat milk latte.

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You're drinking beer.

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Yes,

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beer.

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At 6am.

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Why?

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Because the water is teeming with parasites and filth.

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So you start your day with weak ale,

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low alcohol,

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high survivability.

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Kids drink it too.

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No one's happy about it,

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but at least it won't kill you.

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Immediately.

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Want some meat or cheese?

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Dream on.

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That's for Sundays and saints' feast days,

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and only if your lord is feeling generous.

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Most peasants don't eat meat more than a few times a year.

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As for fresh fruit?

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Only when it's in season,

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and not already fermented into wine.

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And don't even think about spices unless you're royalty.

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A pinch of pepper costs more than your monthly wages.

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Salt is valuable enough to be locked away.

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So you chew your gritty bread,

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gulp your medieval beer,

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and try not to think about the rat that may have nibbled your porridge in the night.

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Breakfast doesn't energise you.

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It just happens to you.

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And now that you're properly underfed,

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it's time to work like your life depends on it.

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Because it absolutely does.

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So,

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you've eaten your sad medieval breakfast,

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and now it's time to get dressed.

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Not that it'll help.

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Your wardrobe consists of exactly one outfit.

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One.

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It's a rough wool tunic or linen shift that you've worn every day for

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months, possibly years.

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There's no such thing as seasonal fashion.

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There's just,

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wear this until it disintegrates or gives you a fungal infection.

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Underwear?

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Optional.

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If you're lucky,

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maybe a linen under tunic.

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If you're not,

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well, you're going commando under layers of scratchy,

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sweaty wool,

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all lovingly stitched together by someone who probably had no idea what a

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seam was supposed to look like.

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There's also no washing machine,

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no soap and absolutely no dry cleaner in sight.

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So your clothes are stained,

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stiff and scented,

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like a compost pile that's been left to marinate in a pigsty.

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Even if you wanted to wash them,

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it's not easy.

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You'd have to haul water from a river or,

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well,

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heat it over a fire,

8:53

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scrub your tunic on a board with ashes or lye,

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and hang it in the sun,

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which is out approximately three days a year.

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And don't get me started on shoes.

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If you own any,

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they're made of untreated leather,

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barely stitched together,

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and offer as much arch support as a banana peel.

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Most peasants just go barefoot,

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through mud,

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through dung.

9:14

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through medieval landmines,

9:16

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aka sharp rocks and disease puddles.

9:19

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All this means one thing.

9:20

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Your skin hates you.

9:22

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You itch constantly.

9:24

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Fleas,

9:25

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lice and bedbugs live rent -free on your body.

9:27

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Everyone has them.

9:28

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Nobles,

9:29

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lousy,

9:30

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monks,

9:31

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itchy,

9:32

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children,

9:33

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walking insect farms.

9:34

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No one escapes.

9:36

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

You'll be scratching your armpit with a wooden spoon while chatting with the local

9:40

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

priest.

9:40

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And no one will even bat an eye.

9:43

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Your skin is raw from rubbing.

9:45

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Your scalp a battlefield of bites.

9:48

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And if you develop a rash,

9:49

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well,

9:50

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too bad.

9:51

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There's no dermatologist,

9:53

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no hydrocortisone,

9:54

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no one to tell you it's probably scabies.

9:57

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You just keep on suffering.

9:58

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And if you're lucky...

10:00

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Enough to not get an infection?

10:01

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Great.

10:02

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That rash will simply accompany you for the next six months like an unwanted medieval

10:06

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sidekick.

10:07

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Now that you're dressed in misery and wrapped in discomfort,

10:10

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it's time to head outside and start working yourself to

10:14

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death. Now that you're fully dressed in itches and damp wool,

10:18

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it's time to flash that morning smile.

10:20

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Except,

10:21

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you don't.

10:23

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Because in the Middle Ages,

10:24

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smiling is a dangerous game.

10:26

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Not emotionally.

10:28

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Dentally.

10:29

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There's no toothbrush,

10:31

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no toothpaste,

10:32

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no mouthwash,

10:33

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no floss.

10:35

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The concept of oral hygiene is about as popular as bathing,

10:39

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which is to say,

10:40

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not very.

10:41

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Some people might chew on a twig or rinse with wine or vinegar,

10:45

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but for the most part,

10:47

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your teeth are on their own and they're not doing well.

10:50

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By the time you hit your mid -twenties,

10:53

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your smile looks like something pulled from a haunted crypt.

10:56

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Cavities are rampant,

10:58

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gums are swollen.

11:00

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And those aren't just food stains on your teeth.

11:02

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That's decay.

11:03

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You have more rot in your mouth than a medieval root cellar.

11:07

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Sugar,

11:08

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while not yet everywhere,

11:09

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is becoming more common among the rich.

11:11

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Imported at great cost,

11:13

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mostly used in small cakes or to show off wealth.

11:16

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If you're a noble,

11:18

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congratulations.

11:20

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You get to rot your teeth faster than the peasants.

11:22

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If you're poor,

11:24

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you'll do it slowly over time with fermented bread,

11:27

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gritty porridge and years of hard chewing.

11:31

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Toothaches?

11:31

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Get used to them.

11:32

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They're like medieval weather,

11:34

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always there in the background.

11:36

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The kind of pain that makes you consider praying,

11:39

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drinking or pulling the tooth out yourself with a pair of pliers.

11:42

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And that's not a joke.

11:44

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

That was the actual treatment.

11:46

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

Dentists didn't really exist,

11:48

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

but barber surgeons did.

11:50

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

Yes.

11:51

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

The same guy who cuts your hair is also pulling your molars out by candlelight

11:55

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

with an iron hook and zero anaesthesia.

11:57

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Infected tooth?

12:00

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

Hope you like fevers.

12:01

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

Because without antibiotics,

12:03

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

it can easily turn into sepsis and kill you.

12:06

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

From a toothache.

12:07

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That's right.

12:09

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The same thing that sends us to a pharmacy today could be your funeral in

12:13

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the 1300s.

12:14

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And there's no relief on the social front either.

12:17

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Kissing?

12:18

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

Good luck.

12:20

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

Halitosis,

12:22

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bad breath,

12:23

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

is everywhere.

12:24

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

If you're single,

12:26

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you're not judged by your smile.

12:28

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You're judged by your land and your livestock.

12:31

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In short,

12:32

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

your mouth is a battlefield,

12:33

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

and it's losing the war.

12:35

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Now that your teeth are throbbing,

12:38

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

let's head outside.

12:39

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

Because your real job,

12:41

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the one that will break your back,

12:43

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

is just getting started.

12:45

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

Time to head to work.

12:47

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Except there's no office,

12:49

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

no desk,

12:49

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

no coffee break,

12:50

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

and no chance of promotion.

12:52

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

Your job,

12:54

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

if you're like 90 % of the population,

12:56

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

is simple.

12:57

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

Don't die while labouring for someone else's comfort.

13:01

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

You're a peasant.

13:02

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

Congratulations.

13:03

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

That means you work the land that belongs to a lord who

13:07

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

probably doesn't remember your name.

13:09

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

You rise with the sun and stop only when it disappears behind

13:13

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

the trees.

13:14

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

Your tools?

13:15

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

A wooden hoe,

13:17

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

a rusty sickle and whatever bones are still intact in your body.

13:21

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

There's no weekend.

13:23

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

There's no clocking out.

13:24

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

There's only sunrise to sunset,

13:27

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

six days a week.

13:28

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Sunday is off.

13:30

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

but only if you're not harvesting,

13:32

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

fighting off raiders,

13:33

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

or praying feverishly for your infected toe to stop turning black.

13:37

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The work is brutal.

13:40

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Fields are ploughed by hand or with oxen,

13:43

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

if you're rich enough to afford one.

13:45

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

You dig ditches,

13:46

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

sow seeds,

13:48

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

pull weeds,

13:49

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

and carry water until your spine begins to resemble the letter S.

13:53

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No one cares if you're tired.

13:55

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

No one's asking how your mental health is doing.

13:58

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If you're a woman,

13:59

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

surprise.

14:01

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You don't just do fieldwork.

14:02

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You also care for children.

14:03

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Clean, cook,

14:05

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

spin wool,

14:06

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

feed animals,

14:07

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

and pretend your husband's lice infestation isn't slowly migrating

14:11

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to your side of the bed.

14:12

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

Children?

14:14

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

They start helping out around age five.

14:16

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

No school,

14:17

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

no toys,

14:18

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

just a tiny wooden rake,

14:20

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

and a dream of one day not dying of the flu.

14:23

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And if you're one of the few who isn't a farmer,

14:26

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

Maybe you're a blacksmith,

14:27

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

a tanner or a cooper.

14:29

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

Great.

14:30

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

You still work with fire,

14:32

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

chemicals or animal guts all day in poorly ventilated sheds.

14:35

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

The pay?

14:36

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

Basically survival.

14:38

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

The perks?

14:39

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

Occasional bleeding.

14:40

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

Break a bone?

14:41

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

Too bad.

14:42

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

Get a fever,

14:43

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

drink some warm beer and keep going.

14:45

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

You can't afford to stop.

14:47

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

Not even for a day.

14:48

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Because if you don't work,

14:49

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

you don't eat.

14:50

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

And if you don't eat...

14:52

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

Well, medieval Europe has a solution for that.

14:54

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

It's called being replaced.

14:56

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

So you grip your shovel,

14:57

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

ignore the blisters,

14:59

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

and keep...

15:00

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

Because in the Middle Ages,

15:01

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

your job isn't a career.

15:03

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

It's a slow -motion endurance test.

15:05

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

Now that your back is on fire from labouring in the fields,

15:09

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

let's talk about the weather.

15:10

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

Because in the Middle Ages,

15:12

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

temperature is less about seasons and more about ongoing punishment from

15:16

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

the sky.

15:16

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

Let's start with winter.

15:18

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

There's no insulation,

15:20

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

no central heating,

15:21

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

and no weatherproofing.

15:23

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

Just wooden walls with gaps you could throw a chicken through.

15:26

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

Your windows?

15:28

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

covered with cloth,

15:29

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

not glass.

15:30

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

The fire in the hearth?

15:32

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

Nice in theory,

15:33

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

but you don't have enough firewood to keep it going because wood is expensive and

15:38

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

gathering it from the forest is sometimes illegal.

15:41

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

Yes,

15:42

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

you can be executed for picking up the wrong stick from the wrong forest.

15:46

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

You bundle up in your one damp wool tunic,

15:49

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

huddle near the dying embers and still wake up with your nose frozen.

15:54

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

Your feet?

15:56

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

Permanently cold,

15:57

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

often damp.

15:58

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

Your fingers,

15:59

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

so stiff they feel like tiny medieval popsicles.

16:03

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

Frostbite isn't diagnosed,

16:05

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

it's just called bad luck.

16:07

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

Now fast forward to summer.

16:09

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

Sounds better,

16:10

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

right? Wrong.

16:11

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

In summer,

16:13

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

your home turns into a clay oven.

16:15

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

There's no fan,

16:16

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

no cross breeze,

16:17

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

and absolutely no deodorant.

16:20

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

You sweat through your layers but you can't remove them because showing too much

16:24

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

skin is scandalous and also invites sunburn,

16:28

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

insect bites and social judgment.

16:31

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

The flies are out in full force,

16:34

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

attracted to your unwashed body and the smell of last week's goat

16:38

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

stew that's still fermenting in the corner.

16:40

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

Mosquitoes buzz by your ear while you sleep,

16:43

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

assuming you can sleep through the sound of your neighbours yelling and babies crying.

16:47

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

In the fields,

16:49

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

the sun bakes you.

16:51

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

No sunblock,

16:52

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

no hat,

16:53

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

unless you've fashioned one out of straw like a desperate scarecrow.

16:56

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

And the worst part,

16:58

S… Speaker 1 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

you still have to work.

16:59

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

Heatstroke is just called taking a bad turn.

17:03

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

So you're either shivering in your own hovel,

17:06

S… Speaker 2 (vidssave (mp3cut.net))

wondering if your toes will make it to spring,

vidssave (mp3cut.net)

Buod

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