Mock the Week S23E04

Jun 30, 2026 15:43 · 45:53 · English · Whisper Turbo · 8 Хөгжмийн зохиолч
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0:40
Welcome to another special summer episode of Mock the Week.
0:43
I'm Dara O'Briain.
0:43
S… Speaker 7 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Joining me tonight are Janine Harouni,
0:45
S… Speaker 7 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Rhys James,
0:46
S… Speaker 7 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Ed Byrne,
0:47
S… Speaker 7 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Angela Barnes,
0:48
S… Speaker 7 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Hugh Dennis and Milton Jones.
0:50
S… Speaker 7 (Mock the Week S23E04)
We
0:58
S… Speaker 7 (Mock the Week S23E04)
start with a round called Picture of the Week.
1:00
S… Speaker 7 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I show the panel a topical image and ask them to tell me what is happening.
1:03
S… Speaker 7 (Mock the Week S23E04)
So teams, what is going on here?
1:05
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Is Starmer just out of shot saying,
1:08
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
shall we get one with all of us?
1:09
S… Speaker 8 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Maybe he's doing FaceTime with
1:14
S… Speaker 8 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Keir Starmer.
1:14
S… Speaker 8 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Where did you put all the chairs?
1:20
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
He's not taking a selfie.
1:21
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
They're watching the video of Starmer resigning.
1:23
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I just looked at this photograph
1:27
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
and I just think,
1:28
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
well, the light's behind them.
1:29
S… Speaker 4 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Yeah.
1:30
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
You should absolutely be standing at the other
1:34
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
end and going, oh,
1:35
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
well, that'll look a lot better.
1:37
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
This guy's clueless.
1:38
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
We are doomed.
1:39
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I didn't have you down as a member of the selfie generation,
1:42
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Ed, I must say.
1:43
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
And I don't mean that too insultingly.
1:45
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Well, please,
1:46
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
unlike yourself,
1:47
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
a lot of people do ask to have their photograph taken with me.
1:51
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I can see what this is going to be like,
1:52
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
this recording.
1:53
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Seconds before the record started,
1:55
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
when the music was playing,
1:56
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Ed led over to me and said,
1:57
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
you're so pretty when you smile.
1:58
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I didn't.
1:59
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
You called
2:03
S… Speaker 5 (Mock the Week S23E04)
it a selfie,
2:04
S… Speaker 5 (Mock the Week S23E04)
but Keir Starmer calls it a go -f***ing selfie.
2:06
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
This is a sign of what he's up against.
2:10
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
This is him taking a photograph in the waiting room of his local A &E.
2:16
S… Speaker 6 (Mock the Week S23E04)
It's like a panto.
2:17
S… Speaker 6 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I could just hear people saying,
2:18
S… Speaker 6 (Mock the Week S23E04)
they're behind you.
2:19
S… Speaker 6 (Mock the Week S23E04)
For now.
2:20
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Are we supposed to,
2:23
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
like, look for Ed Miliband in there somewhere wearing a red and white striped jumper and a bobble hat?
2:26
S… Speaker 4 (Mock the Week S23E04)
You
2:30
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
are very beautiful when you smile.
2:32
S… Speaker 4 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I've
2:37
S… Speaker 8 (Mock the Week S23E04)
got so many good new ideas for Britain.
2:40
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Look,
2:40
S… Speaker 8 (Mock the Week S23E04)
this gadget is an iPhone 6.
2:44
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
To be honest,
2:45
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
as a middle -aged man,
2:46
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
he's probably just very interested in taking a photograph of the roof.
2:48
S… Speaker 4 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Who is this?
2:51
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Is this Parliament?
2:51
S… Speaker 7 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Yeah, it's in the big hall in Parliament.
2:53
S… Speaker 4 (Mock the Week S23E04)
In fact,
2:54
S… Speaker 7 (Mock the Week S23E04)
you'd know the big hall because it was a nice moment there.
2:56
S… Speaker 7 (Mock the Week S23E04)
It was slightly ruined when Holly Willoughby and Philip Schofield squeezed in at the front.
3:01
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
You're smiling again.
3:04
S… Speaker 7 (Mock the Week S23E04)
If you could all stop objectifying
3:08
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Rhys.
3:09
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Of course he's taking a picture.
3:12
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
How often do you get the chance to meet all the original sugar babes?
3:18
S… Speaker 8 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Most of them have stopped singing now.
3:20
S… Speaker 8 (Mock the Week S23E04)
They all got diabetes.
3:21
S… Speaker 4 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Does anyone
3:26
S… Speaker 7 (Mock the Week S23E04)
have the correct answer?
3:27
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Well, it's a difficult one,
3:29
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
this, isn't it?
3:30
S… Speaker 7 (Mock the Week S23E04)
It is difficult,
3:30
S… Speaker 4 (Mock the Week S23E04)
yeah. That,
3:31
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I think, is Andy Burnham.
3:33
S… Speaker 7 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Thank you very, very much.
3:40
S… Speaker 7 (Mock the Week S23E04)
This is the new MP from Makerfield.
3:42
S… Speaker 7 (Mock the Week S23E04)
That's all he is at the moment,
3:43
S… Speaker 4 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Andy Burnham.
3:44
S… Speaker 7 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Opposing for a selfie with Labour MPs after arriving at Westminster.
3:47
S… Speaker 7 (Mock the Week S23E04)
This news is following Burnham's by -election victory,
3:49
S… Speaker 7 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Prime Minister Keir Starmer announces resignation this week,
3:52
S… Speaker 7 (Mock the Week S23E04)
clearing the way for Burnham to potentially take power.
3:55
S… Speaker 7 (Mock the Week S23E04)
So, have we enjoyed the coup that's gone off this week?
3:59
S… Speaker 7 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Yeah, have we enjoyed Burnham's arrival?
4:00
S… Speaker 5 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Well, everyone's sort of acting like Andy Burnham's come in like this charisma bomb,
4:03
S… Speaker 5 (Mock the Week S23E04)
but really he's just Keir Starmer with his adenoids removed.
4:08
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I don't really know anything about him.
4:10
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
All we know about this guy is that he likes music and jogging.
4:14
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
That's not a prime minister.
4:15
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
That's barely a hinge profile.
4:16
S… Speaker 8 (Mock the Week S23E04)
If I were Keir Starmer,
4:20
S… Speaker 8 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I'd run for mayor of Manchester.
4:22
S… Speaker 4 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Then
4:30
S… Speaker 8 (Mock the Week S23E04)
he'd try and get some slogan together to bring the city together,
4:34
S… Speaker 8 (Mock the Week S23E04)
like Manchester United.
4:38
S… Speaker 6 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I think it's good because our last six prime ministers,
4:40
S… Speaker 6 (Mock the Week S23E04)
they all graduated from Oxford.
4:42
S… Speaker 6 (Mock the Week S23E04)
So Andy Burnham's a welcome relief because he graduated from Cambridge.
4:45
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
It's a breath of fresh air.
4:48
S… Speaker 6 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Man of the people.
4:50
S… Speaker 5 (Mock the Week S23E04)
People sort of followed him down,
4:52
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
didn't they?
4:52
S… Speaker 5 (Mock the Week S23E04)
From the north down to London.
4:54
S… Speaker 5 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Like he was a pied piper of people who wear north face at social occasions.
5:00
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
The thing is, he got on the train in,
5:02
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
like, a T -shirt and jeans,
5:04
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
and he got off the train in his suit,
5:06
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
which is the most stars in their eyes are survival.
5:09
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Tonight,
5:10
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Matthew, I'm going to be Prime Minister.
5:12
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
But it also just goes to show that he knows you cannot walk through
5:16
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Manchester in a suit without someone shouting,
5:18
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
oh, all right,
5:19
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Mr Job.
5:29
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Not yet,
5:29
S… Speaker 4 (Mock the Week S23E04)
but he could be Prime Minister in three weeks.
5:32
S… Speaker 4 (Mock the Week S23E04)
That's what they keep saying.
5:32
S… Speaker 4 (Mock the Week S23E04)
He could be Prime Minister in three weeks,
5:34
S… Speaker 4 (Mock the Week S23E04)
which I believe is the motto of Eton.
5:40
S… Speaker 5 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Also, the news coverage is sort of interesting because it said that the news crews and things lost
5:44
S… Speaker 5 (Mock the Week S23E04)
him in Euston.
5:45
S… Speaker 5 (Mock the Week S23E04)
And they said he left Euston.
5:46
S… Speaker 5 (Mock the Week S23E04)
He went to an underground garage and was picked up by a chauffeur -driven car.
5:50
S… Speaker 5 (Mock the Week S23E04)
And he goes, I go to Euston a lot.
5:52
S… Speaker 5 (Mock the Week S23E04)
That's where the taxi rank is.
5:59
S… Speaker 7 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I feel so bad for Makerfield because it's so clear that he only just became their MP in order
6:03
S… Speaker 7 (Mock the Week S23E04)
to strengthen his bid to become Prime Minister,
6:05
S… Speaker 7 (Mock the Week S23E04)
you know?
6:05
S… Speaker 7 (Mock the Week S23E04)
It's kind of like how I'm going to post loads of pictures of me doing this show to try and get on
6:09
S… Speaker 7 (Mock the Week S23E04)
an 8 out of 10 cap.
6:10
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I'm
6:19
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
stepping through to Jimmy.
6:20
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
What did you make of Chris Dahmer's resignation?
6:23
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Well, I found the timing suspicious to do it this week.
6:26
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I think it's proof,
6:27
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
if anything, that 10 Downing Street doesn't have aircon.
6:31
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
It's weird he cried,
6:32
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
didn't he?
6:32
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
He did cry.
6:33
S… Speaker 4 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Seeing the Prime Minister cry,
6:34
S… Speaker 4 (Mock the Week S23E04)
it's a bit weird.
6:35
S… Speaker 4 (Mock the Week S23E04)
It's like seeing your teacher by sanitary towels.
6:37
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Mr Dobson,
6:41
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
what are you doing?
6:41
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
By sanitary towels.
6:45
S… Speaker 4 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Mr Dobson has a wife and he's a good husband.
6:48
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I'm not taking anything about Mr Dobson,
6:50
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
a man I literally invented five seconds ago.
6:53
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Mr Dobson's a not.
6:55
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
He keeps telling me my smile
7:00
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
is pretty.
7:02
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
You're right.
7:03
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
That is nonce behaviour.
7:04
S… Speaker 6 (Mock the Week S23E04)
He's really astute.
7:06
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
He's just getting in your head.
7:08
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
And then he's getting in.
7:10
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
He's not going to get much work done,
7:13
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
is he, though, for the next few weeks?
7:14
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Because he's going to have to spend most of that time cleaning 10 Downing Street to get his deposit back.
7:20
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
He doesn't own it,
7:21
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
does he? He's renting.
7:22
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
He's not even renting.
7:22
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
It's like UD Halls,
7:23
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
basically. He's going to spend that whole time scraping Blu -Tack off the wall from all the posters
7:28
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
of Tony Blair that he put on.
7:29
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
And the town spares arsed.
7:33
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
It's weird,
7:35
S… Speaker 4 (Mock the Week S23E04)
though, because it feels like nobody likes Keir Starmer,
7:38
S… Speaker 4 (Mock the Week S23E04)
but nobody can really articulate why.
7:40
S… Speaker 4 (Mock the Week S23E04)
And as a middle -aged woman on television,
7:43
S… Speaker 4 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I can relate to that.
7:46
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
It does feel a little bit like,
7:47
S… Speaker 6 (Mock the Week S23E04)
you know, replacing him with Andy Burnham just feels like they've just turned the Labour Party off
7:51
S… Speaker 6 (Mock the Week S23E04)
and are turning it back on again.
7:53
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
It's also like,
7:55
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
well, let's just give this a whirl.
7:56
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
In the same way as,
7:57
S… Speaker 6 (Mock the Week S23E04)
like, a cabinet reshuffle is a bit like just spitting the batteries in the remote
8:01
S… Speaker 6 (Mock the Week S23E04)
and just...
8:03
S… Speaker 6 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Maybe it'll get us another little bit of spell out of it.
8:06
S… Speaker 5 (Mock the Week S23E04)
There's also this rather weird thing where everyone talking about this,
8:10
S… Speaker 5 (Mock the Week S23E04)
they say, you know,
8:10
S… Speaker 5 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Burnham has been handed the keys to Number 10.
8:13
S… Speaker 5 (Mock the Week S23E04)
That is what they always talk about.
8:14
S… Speaker 4 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I think you'll find what they've done now.
8:15
S… Speaker 4 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Because Number 10 recently has had more tenants than an Airbnb,
8:19
S… Speaker 4 (Mock the Week S23E04)
they now both leave a little safe on the wall.
8:31
S… Speaker 8 (Mock the Week S23E04)
On that note,
8:31
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
who else made a return to Downing Street this week?
8:33
S… Speaker 6 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Oh, is this hot podium guy?
8:34
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
No.
8:35
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
No?
8:36
S… Speaker 4 (Mock the Week S23E04)
It's hot lectern guy.
8:38
S… Speaker 4 (Mock the Week S23E04)
You stand on a podium,
8:39
S… Speaker 4 (Mock the Week S23E04)
you stand behind a lectern.
8:41
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Yes,
8:43
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
he's
8:47
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
invited. Was that true because you like the hot guy or because you're really strong about
8:51
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
the podium lectern thing?
8:52
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
OK,
8:54
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
fine. Yes,
8:55
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
hot podium guy.
8:56
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Lectern guy.
8:56
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
OK, hot...
8:57
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Jesus.
8:59
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Jeez, we only ever see this guy when there's a resignation,
9:01
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
right?
9:02
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
He's too popular,
9:03
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
people like him.
9:03
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
If I was Andy Burnham and I became Prime Minister,
9:05
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
my first move would be to sack this guy and hire a munter.
9:07
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
There is an element of showing a
9:11
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
picture of him now, because the man's 42,
9:13
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
and it's almost 10 years ago that he made an issue that everyone,
9:17
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
oh my God,
9:17
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
swoon for this guy.
9:18
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
And now it feels a bit like,
9:20
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
want to feel old,
9:21
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
this is what hot podium guy looks like now.
9:36
S… Speaker 7 (Mock the Week S23E04)
They're so big I wonder if they just use them to just physically chuck the Prime Minister's
9:40
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
out. He's only doing one side of it We
9:48
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
edit out just to remove ordinary -looking lectern guy
9:52
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I bet on the other side it's Andy Burnham I think
9:57
S… Speaker 6 (Mock the Week S23E04)
it's wrong to just objectify this poor man
10:00
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
He's doing a job.
10:01
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
He's hired.
10:01
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Look,
10:02
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I know what it's like when you're just accused of being the eye candy.
10:05
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
You know.
10:05
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I'm funny too.
10:07
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
There's the man who opened the show talking about Reese's
10:12
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
smile.
10:12
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I whispered that to him.
10:14
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I was just trying to help.
10:15
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I just wanted the healthy competition.
10:17
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
You're right.
10:18
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
That makes it way less.
10:19
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
This is a bit like,
10:22
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
you know, with him and with the cat.
10:24
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
This is a bit like death in paradise,
10:26
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
you know?
10:26
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
The supporting cast stays the same,
10:28
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
just the main guy changes every sort of thing.
10:30
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Yeah,
10:32
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
after Andy Burnham.
10:33
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Andy Burnham is the Ralph Little.
10:34
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Yeah.
10:35
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
OK,
10:37
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
what's going on here?
10:38
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Oh.
10:39
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Live -action toy story looks shit.
10:43
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
It is bad that the fox
10:47
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
is wearing a tie,
10:48
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
but the future prime minister isn't.
10:49
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
But wisely,
10:51
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Burnham is keeping the fox away from the bin.
11:02
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
People on the left of the photograph have both come as bins.
11:05
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
You're
11:11
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
going to be the regular bin,
11:12
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I'll be the recycling bin.
11:13
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
And she should know more than anyone that they don't
11:17
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
go out on the same day.
11:18
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Is this like that riddle?
11:22
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
You know, like...
11:23
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
There's a box of bin and a green pie cabinet and you've
11:27
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
got to get them all across the river.
11:30
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
The guy who wants to ban fox hunting,
11:32
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
if that was your thing,
11:34
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
why would you come dressed as the scary sleep paralysis
11:38
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
demon person?
11:39
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
That's not doing foxes on a great deal of favours,
11:43
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
is it? Why don't you just wear a Basil Brush t -shirt?
11:48
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
That's a real one as well.
11:49
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
He skimmed that to make this a point.
11:50
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Do we know how many votes Count Binface
11:54
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
got? He got 95 votes.
11:56
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Did he?
11:56
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
He did, yeah.
11:57
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
He actually has some quite good policies.
11:59
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Count Binface says people who use speakerphones
12:03
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
on public transport should be conscripted.
12:05
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
And
12:11
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
it goes a little bit,
12:12
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
it says tries in the rugby league to be increased from four to five points
12:17
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
in line with inflation.
12:20
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
What was also funny was that when the Green Party candidate stepped on his foot,
12:24
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
the top of his head...
12:26
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
So those were genuine
12:30
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
political candidates?
12:31
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
12:31
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
It's not just...
12:33
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Hang on a second.
12:36
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
We have joke candidates.
12:37
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
We don't elect them president.
12:39
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Join
12:54
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
us after the break.
13:05
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
The next round is called Between the Lines,
13:07
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
which is Hugh and Rhys.
13:08
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Would you make your way over to the press pit,
13:10
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
please?
13:10
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Rhys delivers a speech in the guise of a leading figure on the world stage,
13:13
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
while Hugh translates what they really mean.
13:15
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
This week,
13:16
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Rhys is King Charles.
13:17
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I do not have the girth for this.
13:20
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
No,
13:22
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
but you do have a lovely smile.
13:26
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Greetings to all
13:30
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
my loyal subjects.
13:31
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Hello,
13:32
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
old people and reform voters.
13:37
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I will never forget where I was the moment I heard I had become king.
13:40
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I was in the hospital corridor shouting about fucking time.
13:44
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
The
13:48
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
monarchy needs to appeal to the younger generation.
13:51
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
But not as an Andrew sort of way.
13:55
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Like
14:00
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
everyone else, I am very excited about the World Cup.
14:03
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
The Polo World Cup in Dubai.
14:05
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I am determined
14:11
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
to drastically reduce our emissions.
14:14
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Camilla is down to 20 B &H a day.
14:16
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
When Harry and Meghan next
14:21
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
visit, they will be staying in Buckingham Palace.
14:23
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Yes.
14:24
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
The bastards booked it through Airbnb.
14:26
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Using a false
14:30
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
name.
14:31
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I am sad I see so little of Harry.
14:35
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I imagine his dad misses him too.
14:38
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
One
14:48
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
is astounded it got up to 90 degrees this week.
14:50
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Well,
14:52
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
it's not bad for a man of my age.
14:53
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
For an
14:59
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
older man...
15:00
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I have very few health issues.
15:01
S… Speaker 6 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Yes, I can count the ailments I have on the sausages
15:06
S… Speaker 6 (Mock the Week S23E04)
of one hand.
15:07
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
With my swollen fingers,
15:10
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I have to take precautions in this heat.
15:12
S… Speaker 6 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I have to prick them with a fork when I go.
15:14
S… Speaker 5 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I am
15:22
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
dearly in love with my wife Camilla.
15:24
S… Speaker 6 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I love her as much now as the day
15:28
S… Speaker 6 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I married Diana.
15:41
S… Speaker 4 (Mock the Week S23E04)
The next round is called I Gave You The Best Cures Of My Life.
15:44
S… Speaker 4 (Mock the Week S23E04)
This game involves Milton and Ed,
15:48
S… Speaker 4 (Mock the Week S23E04)
so if you could make your way to the performance area,
15:49
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
please.
15:50
S… Speaker 4 (Mock the Week S23E04)
This round is the stand -up challenge.
15:51
S… Speaker 4 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I launch the Wheel of News and wherever it chooses to stop,
15:53
S… Speaker 4 (Mock the Week S23E04)
one of our performers will step forward and talk about that subject.
15:56
S… Speaker 4 (Mock the Week S23E04)
The winner is whoever I think is the funniest.
15:58
S… Speaker 4 (Mock the Week S23E04)
OK,
15:59
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
here we go.
15:59
S… Speaker 4 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Our first topic,
16:00
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
please.
16:00
S… Speaker 4 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Let's spin the wheel.
16:01
S… Speaker 4 (Mock the Week S23E04)
First topic is parenting.
16:04
S… Speaker 4 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Who wants to go into that?
16:05
S… Speaker 5 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Ed.
16:08
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Right, so something you may not know if you don't have kids is that young kids,
16:12
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
particularly 6, 7,
16:13
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
8, a lot of time they'll ask a question and before they've even finished asking the question,
16:16
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
they've already decided that they don't give a shit what the answer is.
16:19
S… Speaker 5 (Mock the Week S23E04)
They'll ask you a question,
16:21
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
you'll answer it and they're almost looking at you like,
16:23
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
the fuck are you talking about?
16:25
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Well, you're not answering that question I asked a second ago,
16:28
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
eh? I'm sorry,
16:28
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
my life's moved on since then.
16:30
S… Speaker 5 (Mock the Week S23E04)
But then I go,
16:31
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
oh, maybe I do want to know the answer to that question,
16:33
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
and they'll ask it again.
16:33
S… Speaker 5 (Mock the Week S23E04)
And like a mug,
16:34
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
you'll answer it again.
16:35
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
But the third or fourth time our kids ask the same question,
16:38
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
me and my wife have a stock answer now,
16:40
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
where we just go,
16:41
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
do you know what?
16:41
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I've answered that question already.
16:42
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I'm not going to answer it again.
16:43
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
It's a bit artsy.
16:45
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
It's hardly child abuse.
16:46
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
The kids have good lives.
16:46
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
However, what it leads to is what it led to.
16:49
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
A few years ago,
16:50
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
my elder son was eight.
16:52
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
and he's got another kid in the house on a play date,
16:55
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
and my kid is showing this kid the game of Minecraft on an iPad,
16:59
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
because this kid's never seen Minecraft,
17:01
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
because his parents live under a rock.
17:03
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Have you brought a little Amish boy home to play?
17:07
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Pleased to meet you,
17:10
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Jebediah.
17:10
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I'm Papa Byrne.
17:14
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Don't be alarmed by the talking,
17:15
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
moving painting on the wall.
17:16
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
That's just the television.
17:17
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Because even though I've done quite well for myself,
17:20
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I am quite working class and I don't turn off the TV when guests arrive.
17:26
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
My kid's showing this kid how to play Minecraft,
17:28
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
and the kid asks a question about how something happens in the game,
17:30
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
something to do with the day and the night,
17:32
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
and my kid answers it in a way I didn't even understand,
17:36
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
and I played the game.
17:37
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
So then the poor kid asks the question again,
17:40
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
and I have to hear my eight -year -old son say to his eight -year -old mate,
17:43
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
do you know what?
17:44
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I've asked that question already.
17:45
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I'm not going to answer it again.
17:49
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
What have I done?
17:50
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Cut to me putting my son to bed that night,
17:54
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
tucking an eight -year -old boy into bed.
17:55
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I have to explain to my eight -year -old son how if he talks to
18:00
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
other people the way I talk to him,
18:04
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
other people will think he's a dickhead.
18:08
S… Speaker 5 (Mock the Week S23E04)
That's a good conversation.
18:09
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
That takes finesse.
18:11
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Seriously, son,
18:12
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
the way you spoke to him,
18:13
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
you really sounded like a dickhead.
18:14
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
But I was just talking to him the way you talk to me.
18:18
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Yeah, life's not fair.
18:19
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Does that mean you and mummy are dickheads?
18:22
S… Speaker 2 (Mock the Week S23E04)
No!
18:23
S… Speaker 5 (Mock the Week S23E04)
No,
18:24
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
funnily enough, when I retell this story,
18:26
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I will very much make you out to be the dickhead in it.
18:28
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
So you and mummy aren't dickheads?
18:31
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I've answered that question already.
18:32
S… Speaker 5 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I'm not going to answer that yet.
18:33
S… Speaker 5 (Mock the Week S23E04)
That
18:39
S… Speaker 4 (Mock the Week S23E04)
leads us with Milton,
18:40
S… Speaker 4 (Mock the Week S23E04)
the theory of topic is...
18:41
S… Speaker 4 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Let's spin the wheel.
18:42
S… Speaker 4 (Mock the Week S23E04)
And the topic is work.
18:46
S… Speaker 5 (Mock the Week S23E04)
The
18:51
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
bin man said to me the other day,
18:52
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
where's your recycling tubs?
18:54
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I said, you're not so thin yourself.
19:00
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I remember the first day I worked in Tesco.
19:02
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I went in,
19:02
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I picked up a lasagna and read,
19:04
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
remove cardboard sleeve and film.
19:06
S… Speaker 5 (Mock the Week S23E04)
To
19:11
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
this day, it's the most boring video I ever made.
19:13
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
In the kitchen,
19:16
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I was one of those cooks who shouts and swears a lot.
19:18
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
But then I discovered oven gloves.
19:21
S… Speaker 5 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I
19:25
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
remember once trying to prepare some broccoli.
19:27
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I said, listen,
19:28
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
you're going to be boiled in a saucepan.
19:30
S… Speaker 5 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Even then,
19:33
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
the kids aren't going to eat you.
19:34
S… Speaker 5 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I mean,
19:36
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
at least onions think you care about them.
19:42
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I'll tell you what else can be dangerous in a kitchen is a leopard.
19:46
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
In the bakery,
19:50
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
my favourite was millionaire's shortbread,
19:52
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
or as millionaires call it...
19:54
S… Speaker 5 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Shortbread.
19:55
S… Speaker 3 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Short millionaires call it...
20:02
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Difficult to reach biscuits.
20:04
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Had to call out a waitress
20:08
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
the other day.
20:09
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
She was one of those vegans who eats meat sometimes.
20:12
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Or Megan,
20:13
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
as her name badge said.
20:14
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Last
20:20
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
job I had was working for a PR company.
20:22
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
The last job they gave me was to fill a room full of A -listers,
20:25
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
not Alisters.
20:27
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Well,
20:31
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
they didn't say B -listers,
20:32
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
really.
20:36
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Some people say the firefighters deserve more money,
20:39
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
but apparently a poll was taken and they all fell through a hole in the floor Join
20:51
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
us after the break for
20:55
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
more Mock the Week
21:05
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
The next round is called,
21:06
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
if this is the answer,
21:07
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
what is the question?
21:08
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
On the board are six categories.
21:09
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Janine, which category would you like?
21:10
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
I will take sports.
21:12
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Okay,
21:13
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Gran, your topic is sports.
21:14
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
If the answer is 32,
21:15
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
what is the question?
21:17
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
Is it,
21:18
S… Speaker 1 (Mock the Week S23E04)
how many prime ministers are we on track for by the end of the decade?

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