1779804418987

May 26, 2026 14:15 · 2:34 · English · Whisper Turbo · 1 Cynhadledd

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Mynegai Darlith

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

There are so many sources of power that I think one

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

of the biggest mistakes we make as mediators is we jump to conclusions very

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

quickly.

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

We see someone who may be a better conversationalist and can communicate

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

really well.

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

We see someone who has the money.

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

We see someone who has the status of position.

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

I'm your boss.

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

We see someone who has the power of...

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

of culture,

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

meaning a hierarchy within their culture.

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

There's dozens and dozens of sources of power.

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

In one of my special education mediations,

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

there was a mother on one side.

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

and there was eight to ten people or more on the

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

other side.

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

There was the school principal,

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

there was a special education director,

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

there was a guidance counselor,

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

there was a regular classroom teacher and a resource teacher,

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

and on and on and on.

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

And they were all lined up.

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

And in my infinite mediator wisdom,

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

I thought,

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

This is what we call stacking the bleachers,

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

which is the amount of people over here is greater than the amount of people over here.

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

And therefore,

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

they will be intimidating to the person that's over here.

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

So I thought,

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

how can I do this so brilliantly and so subtly that no one will see

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

that I'm emptying the bleachers?

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

And so I said to them,

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

I really appreciate that you're all here.

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

Since we are at the district office,

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

though, and it's easier for me if there's fewer people around the table,

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

I'd really like you to go back to your desk so I can have just two,

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

maybe three people at a time,

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

and that way I can call you easily,

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

be prepared to come in right away,

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

and I think that would work best for me.

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

And they said,

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

okay, fine.

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

And I'm feeling kind of proud.

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

And then the mom says to me,

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

Nina, can I talk to you for a minute?

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

And I said...

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

Sure.

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

And we go out and we barely get out the door.

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

She wheels at me and she goes,

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

what are you,

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

what?

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

What are you doing?

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

Why did you do that?

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

Get those people back here.

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

And I said, excuse me?

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

And she said, I have waited so long to have everyone,

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

everyone focused on my child and nobody else.

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

You know how long it's taken me to get all those people at the table.

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

I want every single one of them in there and they're going to be there until five o 'clock.

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

You go back there and you get them.

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

I said, yes,

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

ma 'am.

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

So I made a presumption about a source of power and

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

I was wrong.

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

I was completely and totally wrong.

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

It was her power to bring them to the table.

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

And that's where that part that I said earlier about jumping to conclusions

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

too quickly or,

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

oh, I've had a situation like this before,

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

or this is how I would feel if I was in that situation.

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

We have to take that time.

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S… Speaker 1 (1779804418987)

We have to ask the questions.

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