1779722388213
May 25, 2026 15:20
· 1:44
· English
· Whisper Turbo
· 2 Qof-dheer
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
I think apology and forgiveness and how it's
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
done is very,
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
very situational.
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
Because there's many kinds of apologies.
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
For some people,
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
you've said you're sorry so many times that saying it again is not going to make any difference.
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
And what I want to know is,
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
is there a change in behavior?
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
And when you see a change in behavior,
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
then I know you've truly apologized to me.
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
For other people,
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
the verbal apology is incredibly important to them.
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
And how it's framed is incredibly important to them.
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
So an apology for some people means I need you to...
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
you to take accountability for what you did.
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
This is called a full apology.
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
I'm sorry.
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
I made a mistake.
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
There's no excuse for it.
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
I'll never do it again.
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
Please forgive me.
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
Complete,
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
total,
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
and oftentimes giving something for it.
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
You know, I will do this to show you how sorry I am.
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
And that's an accountability apology.
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
Other people,
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
all they need is what we call a partial or benevolent apology,
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
which is, you know,
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
we've been married for 40 years and I never thought we'd be ending
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
up in this mediation office getting a divorce.
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
I'm so sorry we're here.
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Speaker 2 (1779722388213)
Now,
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
notice when I say that,
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
I'm not saying,
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
I'm so sorry we're here and I'm the one that messed up.
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Speaker 2 (1779722388213)
Now,
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
what makes this difficult is that sometimes people want one
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
kind of apology,
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
but they'll get the other kind of apology.
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
So someone who wants that accountability
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
yes, I made a mistake,
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
I'm really sorry,
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
please forgive me,
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
gets the I'm so sorry this happened.
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
And when they get the I'm so sorry it happened,
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
it has the exact opposite effect of what the person who's apologizing
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
hopes will happen.
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Speaker 1 (1779722388213)
The person who's receiving the apology gets even angrier.
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