장
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0:01
The reality about marriage is we will all hurt our partner in big or small ways, often unintentionally, and sometimes we aren't even aware of what we've done. But the hurt must be healed if our marriage is to flourish. And in this session, …
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1:02
Some people, when they're angry, are inclined to let you know it right away. We call them the rhinos, because a rhino, if it's provoked, is quite likely to put its head down and charge at you. When I was a student, I spent five months backp…
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3:07장 3: Some people act like the rhino when they're upset. 211s · Speaker 2
Some people act like the rhino when they're upset. That's me. Let me give you an example. Many years ago, when Nicky and I were living in Japan and Kirsty, our first child, was four months old, a bachelor friend of ours who lived four hours…
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6:39장 4: No, you're not. 123s · Speaker 5
No, you're not. For a moment. So I'm definitely the rhino. Yeah. Definitely. I think I've mellowed slightly. That's still my tendency, though, is to explode. I was completely a hedgehog, so everything in me would want to avoid conflict, wou…
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8:43
rhinos and hedgehogs must learn to manage their anger properly. And if necessary, get expert help to do so. Uncontrolled anger has terrible consequences. And unless we learn to control the way we express hurt and anger, whether in response …
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10:00장 6: An emotion is never buried dead, it is always buried alive. 296s · Speaker 2
An emotion is never buried dead, it is always buried alive. And this is a particular danger for hedgehogs. Buried hurt and anger impact every part of our lives. Our behavior can be affected. We may start escaping into work or drinking too m…
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15:00
to you, leave immediately, go to your partner and make things right. And then a little further on, Jesus tells us what to do if we've been hurt. He says, if your partner offends you, go and tell them, work it out between the two of you. So …
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20:00
Soon as it was out in the open, I didn't find it difficult to forgive, and my feelings of annoyance and hurt evaporated much more quickly than they built up. So we spent the rest of the journey home discussing how we could communicate more …
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25:00
Please help every couple to be gentle with each other as they do this. Amen. We recognise that conversation around identifying hurt is a hard one. But we'd encourage you to persevere with this process, even when it feels hard. And if necess…
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27:27장 10: Now, I'm not proud of this, but I found that really hard. 301s · Speaker 2
Now, I'm not proud of this, but I found that really hard. And I think I said it through gritted teeth. But the moment I'd said it, I felt completely different. The resentment and the self -pity left and our relationship was restored. And we…
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32:28장 11: you ask your partner, what could I do to help you with this process of healing? 142s · Speaker 1
you ask your partner, what could I do to help you with this process of healing? Listen, and then if you're comfortable praying, say a prayer for each other, either aloud or silently. Otherwise, express comfort to your partner for what they'…