Insta live with Nivea
May 16, 2026 05:31
· 1:00:08
· English
· Whisper Turbo
· 8 Hátalar
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0:28
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Hello.
0:28
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Speaker 4 (Insta live with Nivea)
Can everybody hear me fine?
0:30
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Speaker 4 (Insta live with Nivea)
This is my first live.
0:31
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Speaker 4 (Insta live with Nivea)
I'm just testing this right now.
0:32
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Speaker 5 (Insta live with Nivea)
Hello.
0:49
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Speaker 5 (Insta live with Nivea)
Hello. Good
0:55
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
to see yaar.
0:55
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Speaker 4 (Insta live with Nivea)
I thought I didn't know how many people will be in the first live but good to see that at least
1:00
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Speaker 4 (Insta live with Nivea)
a few of you have joined already.
1:01
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Speaker 5 (Insta live with Nivea)
Hello.
1:05
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Hey.
1:06
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Hey.
1:06
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Speaker 8 (Insta live with Nivea)
Hi Nibya.
1:08
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
How are you?
1:08
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
Good.
1:09
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
How are you?
1:09
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
I'm good.
1:11
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Speaker 4 (Insta live with Nivea)
I'm actually very happy because I was very scared that the first live will be in the first live
1:15
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Speaker 4 (Insta live with Nivea)
but I already see a couple of them.
1:17
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
That's good.
1:18
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Speaker 8 (Insta live with Nivea)
That's a good start.
1:20
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Yeah.
1:20
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Speaker 5 (Insta live with Nivea)
Hmm.
1:22
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Speaker 4 (Insta live with Nivea)
Let me just figure it out.
1:25
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Speaker 4 (Insta live with Nivea)
Can you see some comments,
1:26
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Speaker 3 (Insta live with Nivea)
Nivia? I can only see.
1:28
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Speaker 3 (Insta live with Nivea)
Yeah,
1:29
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Speaker 3 (Insta live with Nivea)
I think I do.
1:30
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Yes.
1:30
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Yeah.
1:31
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Speaker 7 (Insta live with Nivea)
Okay.
1:31
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Speaker 3 (Insta live with Nivea)
Yes, I can.
1:32
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Speaker 8 (Insta live with Nivea)
Okay.
1:33
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Nice.
1:34
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Speaker 3 (Insta live with Nivea)
We can hear you.
1:36
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Perfect.
1:37
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Speaker 3 (Insta live with Nivea)
Thank you.
1:38
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Speaker 7 (Insta live with Nivea)
Hey,
1:39
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Nivia.
1:39
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Hi.
1:40
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Speaker 3 (Insta live with Nivea)
Okay.
1:43
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Speaker 6 (Insta live with Nivea)
That's great.
1:45
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Speaker 3 (Insta live with Nivea)
i'm doing it for the first time as well so hopefully it goes great first time
1:49
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Speaker 3 (Insta live with Nivea)
for the both of us let's see yeah you can hear me clearly right yes and
1:53
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Speaker 3 (Insta live with Nivea)
you yes okay perfect perfect we're gonna wait
1:57
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Speaker 3 (Insta live with Nivea)
for a few seconds and then we'll begin okay yeah
2:02
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Speaker 5 (Insta live with Nivea)
how was
2:13
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
the day for you busy yeah i
2:17
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Speaker 3 (Insta live with Nivea)
had some um i only had like two sessions today so it wasn't
2:21
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Speaker 5 (Insta live with Nivea)
that bad yeah i think
2:35
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Speaker 3 (Insta live with Nivea)
we'll we should start okay i don't know
2:39
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Yeah.
2:40
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Speaker 8 (Insta live with Nivea)
Yeah.
2:41
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Cool.
2:42
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Speaker 4 (Insta live with Nivea)
So I think we have a few people here and more
2:46
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
will join.
2:47
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Speaker 4 (Insta live with Nivea)
I was just trying to see if there is a way to just add a
2:51
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Speaker 4 (Insta live with Nivea)
sticker or something here.
2:52
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
Is there?
2:52
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Speaker 4 (Insta live with Nivea)
I don't know.
2:53
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
No,
2:55
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Speaker 8 (Insta live with Nivea)
never mind.
2:56
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Okay.
2:57
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Speaker 4 (Insta live with Nivea)
So in case anybody has joined who doesn't know what this
3:01
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Speaker 4 (Insta live with Nivea)
life is for and who we are,
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Speaker 4 (Insta live with Nivea)
just giving a quick intro.
3:04
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Speaker 4 (Insta live with Nivea)
I'm Apoorva.
3:06
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Speaker 4 (Insta live with Nivea)
I run this channel called The Dating Compass.
3:07
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Speaker 4 (Insta live with Nivea)
I majorly share my opinions and observations around modern
3:12
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Speaker 4 (Insta live with Nivea)
day relationship challenges as I see them.
3:17
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Speaker 4 (Insta live with Nivea)
and this person is Nivea she's a relationship coach she has real clients
3:21
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Speaker 4 (Insta live with Nivea)
across the world and I don't know Nivea if I told you that a
3:25
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Speaker 4 (Insta live with Nivea)
couple of weeks ago I had actually put up a story where I had asked these
3:29
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Speaker 4 (Insta live with Nivea)
people that if I want to get somebody on this channel somebody
3:34
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Speaker 4 (Insta live with Nivea)
from this space and somebody who creates very sensible and balanced content and not rage
3:38
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Speaker 4 (Insta live with Nivea)
bait content who would you like to see and a couple of them actually
3:43
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Speaker 4 (Insta live with Nivea)
suggested your name that's how i found out about you and that's how i reached out to you so yeah
3:48
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Speaker 3 (Insta live with Nivea)
that's crazy actually yeah
3:51
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Speaker 4 (Insta live with Nivea)
So yeah, I'm really glad that we are finally getting to do this public chat.
3:55
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Speaker 4 (Insta live with Nivea)
The topic for today,
3:57
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Speaker 4 (Insta live with Nivea)
as we have decided,
3:58
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Speaker 4 (Insta live with Nivea)
is around self -awareness and patterns.
4:00
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Speaker 4 (Insta live with Nivea)
And why do self -aware people also repeat the same patterns?
4:04
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Speaker 4 (Insta live with Nivea)
But before we go to that core question,
4:06
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Speaker 4 (Insta live with Nivea)
I definitely know that we want to discuss more about self -awareness
4:11
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Speaker 4 (Insta live with Nivea)
and patterns in general.
4:12
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Speaker 4 (Insta live with Nivea)
Because I think it's very hard for somebody to see their own patterns,
4:16
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Speaker 4 (Insta live with Nivea)
even if they're self -aware.
4:17
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Speaker 4 (Insta live with Nivea)
All of us would like to believe that we are self -aware,
4:19
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Speaker 4 (Insta live with Nivea)
but...
4:20
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Speaker 4 (Insta live with Nivea)
are we really i don't know so we uh i would love to cover some
4:24
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Speaker 4 (Insta live with Nivea)
of these topics in this chat first yeah do you have something to share on this
4:28
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Speaker 3 (Insta live with Nivea)
topic now yeah i think self -awareness um in the basic
4:33
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Speaker 3 (Insta live with Nivea)
way possible if i was to explain it it's like just just just to
4:37
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Speaker 3 (Insta live with Nivea)
get conscious of what you feel how you feel um
4:41
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Speaker 3 (Insta live with Nivea)
how you act how others see you just to
4:45
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Speaker 3 (Insta live with Nivea)
get conscious of these things and that's how you get that self -awareness and it is a
4:49
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Speaker 3 (Insta live with Nivea)
it's i personally believe that if you're not self -aware
4:54
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Speaker 3 (Insta live with Nivea)
you'd probably be repeating the same type of mistakes you know same
4:58
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Speaker 3 (Insta live with Nivea)
type of you'd be attracting
5:00
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
same type of people in your life you'll be having the same fights so it's important to have
5:04
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
that clarity so self -awareness is very important but again it
5:08
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
doesn't stop at self -awareness it there's more to it but that's
5:12
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
the first step that's definitely the first step yes yeah but how
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
would you tell like you know i think uh i'm educated my friends are educated
5:21
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
and we would like to think that we are self -aware but how would you even tell if you're self -aware
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
or not i don't know
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
see if you're able to question yourself if you know your patterns now
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
patterns look like um if you can tell
5:34
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
that if i give you an example if you've
5:39
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
been in the dating pool right and you're not able to get good partner
5:43
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Speaker 3 (Insta live with Nivea)
right
5:45
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
have you ever tried to question yourself that why are you not able to attract
5:49
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
the type of love you're looking or the partner you're looking so if you don't
5:54
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
know if you're in the limbo you're like i don't know what keeps happening why am i like why
5:58
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
all my relationships are failing that means you're not self -aware you haven't asked the right
6:02
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
kind of questions that needs to be asked right so it's important that
6:06
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
you ask yourself
6:08
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
What is happening?
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Why is it happening?
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Why are you reacting the same way?
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Why are you attracting the same type of people?
6:15
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
So these are the questions that you should be asking.
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
If you don't know the answers to this question,
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
that means you're not self -aware.
6:21
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
If you don't know your patterns,
6:23
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
you're not self -aware.
6:24
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
I think while
6:29
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
you're saying all these things,
6:29
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
I'm just thinking about a lot of these people that I know that are single and
6:34
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
in this phase where they are not able to find somebody.
6:38
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
and even they they would maybe have some idea why
6:42
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
they are not able to find somebody but they would always blame the other person I think the
6:47
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
core sentiment that I felt from all of them is that oh I met this person but
6:51
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
you know they had this problem oh I met this person but they had this kind of a problem and
6:55
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
I'm not able to find somebody somebody real at
6:59
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
all you know that I can even take things further at least two steps
7:04
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
So I know a lot of these people who are just stuck at the beginning itself because they
7:08
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
are not able to find any person that they can find fit.
7:14
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
The first question one should ask is why do you keep attracting the same type of people then?
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Why do you keep attracting people who have problems
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
or who needs to be fixed or who are hot and cold or all of
7:27
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
those stuff, right?
7:27
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
It's you who are attracting them in the first place.
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
They're not coming in your life.
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
You're the one who keeps attracting them.
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
You're the one who keeps going to them.
7:37
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
If someone needs to be fixed,
7:39
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
you're the one who keeps going to them.
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
over and over again so one needs to here's the thing if you
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
keep blaming see blaming is easy if you keep blaming the other person you'd never we'd
7:50
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
never grow ever so the only way you want to get self
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
-aware or if if you if you want to get clarity about things
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
in your life and you actually want to grow you need to the first
8:02
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
thing you should do is look within yeah and if you're not looking within if you're
8:07
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
not self -reflecting then you're not
8:09
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
getting self -aware and you're not you'd not develop that skill and it's
8:14
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
important and it's just not see self -awareness is just not for
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
relationships you you make your wise like if you
8:22
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
want to make any wise decision in your life like just any decision making um
8:26
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
skill that you have you for that you need to be self -aware of yourself
8:30
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
right so you cannot just have um so self -awareness
8:35
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
is just not for relationships it's also for making good decisions in your life
8:39
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
it's also for growth for personal growth right for learning and everything so
8:43
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
yeah that's that's i would say like if you cannot look within then i
8:47
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
think there's i wouldn't even want to have a conversation with someone like
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
who who's not even ready to look at their own patterns
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
like what where am i going wrong yeah
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
if they're not able to ask that question then they'd they'd always be stuck
9:02
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
in the same trap and and they'd be blaming life or bad
9:06
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
luck or people around them or they'd be blaming men in general or
9:11
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
women in general but is it always them
9:15
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
Is it always their own patterns because
9:19
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
of which they're not able to find somebody or they're not able to have a good relationship?
9:23
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
Is it always them or is it mostly them?
9:25
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
What do you think?
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
If they know,
9:28
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
if they're able to discern well in the early stages of dating,
9:31
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
then they know what they're looking for.
9:34
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
But if let's say they keep attracting the same type of people and then they're in their relationship
9:38
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
and that relationship lasts for another one year and then they're stuck,
9:41
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
even though they know that they do not want to be with this person.
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
And then the problem is them because they clearly knew that they were
9:48
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
not their person,
9:49
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
but then they still were in the relationship and they still entertain them for
9:53
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
such a long time.
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
So deep down,
9:56
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
we have to ask why were,
9:57
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
why did they even entertain this?
10:00
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
person for this long even though you knew that this was not their person you
10:04
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
know so the problem so the it's i wouldn't say the problem is then the pattern
10:08
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
lies in them right so if they're not able to see why
10:12
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
are they entertaining the same person then there's no point like yes
10:17
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
if if they do see that the person um that they attract
10:21
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
they're not their person and then they they
10:25
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
decide that okay i do not want to be with this person anymore and they move on
10:30
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
that means they know what they want right so then there's no problem there the
10:34
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
problem only lies it's only those people who don't know when
10:38
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
to say no yeah you know okay and when
10:43
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
to not entertain yes
10:46
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
I see a comment here from Nakul that seems very relevant for this one.
10:50
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
I'm not able to see comments here.
10:51
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
You're not able to see comments?
10:52
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Oh, that's why I checked.
10:53
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
Yeah,
10:54
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
it's only stuck at the first few comments where,
10:57
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
yeah,
10:58
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
it doesn't,
10:59
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
I don't know.
11:00
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
I thought...
11:01
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Let me check something.
11:03
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
It's okay, you can carry on.
11:05
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Yeah,
11:06
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
if I add you as a...
11:07
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
No, I don't think.
11:08
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
I think there's something called moderator.
11:10
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
If I add you there,
11:11
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
you should be able to see it,
11:12
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
but I'm not able to add you as a moderator.
11:14
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
So, because you are already on the video,
11:16
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
maybe that's why.
11:17
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
I don't know.
11:17
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
We'll have to fix this for the next one.
11:19
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Okay.
11:20
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
Yeah,
11:21
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
I'll just read out the comment.
11:22
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
We're stuck in the first few ones where this guy said,
11:24
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
hi Nivea.
11:25
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
Yeah.
11:26
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Okay.
11:27
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
I can see.
11:28
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
It's okay.
11:29
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
okay i just read out this question to you so this person is asking how are we
11:33
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Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
sure that we are the ones attracting a specific kind of people if
11:37
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Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
you keep ending up in the same situations over and over again then that means that it's
11:41
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
your pattern if you're the yeah i
11:45
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
have a very basic question here yes
11:50
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
There are a lot of people,
11:52
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
at least in my audience and,
11:53
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
you know, in India in general,
11:54
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
that don't date too much,
11:57
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
right?
11:57
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
I mean, their dating history is probably just,
12:00
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
you know, maybe two or three people max and maybe not even that sometimes,
12:03
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
right?
12:03
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Is it too important to just date to be the self -aware person
12:07
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
in relationships?
12:08
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
I agree.
12:09
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
As I say this,
12:10
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
I think, yes.
12:11
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
But what do you think about this?
12:15
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
I understand there's definitely a cultural difference here.
12:20
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
you do not need to date multiple people to know your patterns like
12:25
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
just one ex would tell you your patterns and how because in that even
12:29
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
with that one ex you were still entertaining shit you didn't
12:33
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
want to entertain you were still um over functioning
12:38
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
you know you were over extending over doing things or you
12:42
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
were um you knew that this person wasn't for you but you
12:46
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
still kept on doing and giving and
12:48
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
you know and that's a pattern as well that means you you didn't
12:52
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
have healthy boundaries that's a pattern you were people pleasing you were doing all of
12:56
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
it that's a pattern you didn't need multiple people to recognize that just
13:01
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
one person can still give you all of that information but you should be self
13:05
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
-aware and you should be you know um conscious enough to
13:09
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
see that
13:13
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
nobody asks that questions to themselves nobody nobody does the
13:17
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
hard work because for that you need to sit with yourself you need to understand yourself
13:21
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
you need to understand where am I going wrong because it's easier to blame others
13:25
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
as we discussed but nobody wants to do the hard work nobody wants to look within so
13:31
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
you're saying that even with even if you've just been in one relationship you can tell
13:35
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
how you were in that relationship
13:37
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
And from that,
13:39
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
you can tell the tendencies that you have basically that,
13:41
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
you know,
13:42
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
you tend to overgive or you tend to take more shit
13:46
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
than you should.
13:47
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
You tend to not set your boundaries clearly.
13:49
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
So those are basically patterns,
13:51
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
right?
13:51
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Yes.
13:52
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
Yes.
13:52
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
So you ask yourself,
13:54
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
what were the things that you didn't want to do,
13:55
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
but you still ended up doing?
13:57
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Yeah.
13:58
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
And you ended up doing over and over again.
14:00
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Why?
14:01
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
These are the questions one should be asking.
14:04
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
yeah that's that's how we get self -aware just get conscious of everything
14:08
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
get conscious of what am i doing why am i doing how is
14:12
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
it serving me how is how are my actions serving someone yeah
14:17
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
is it is it helping me is it not helping me is it healthy is
14:21
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
it not healthy why did i even do it again so all these questions nobody asked that yeah
14:26
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
nobody asked that i agree with you um
14:30
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
but as i'm saying this i'm also thinking that
14:34
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
I've spoken to a lot of people through this channel who have been in you know these kind of
14:38
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
patterns and situations but like for example I'll quote one example specifically this
14:42
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
person that I had spoken to this person had been telling me that yeah
14:47
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
your video is stuck for a second yeah sorry
14:51
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
can you
14:59
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
hear me though
15:00
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
I can hear you.
15:01
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
I don't know.
15:02
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
What did I do?
15:02
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
What did you do?
15:05
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
I was actually checking if I can see comments.
15:08
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Oh,
15:08
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
okay. Holy shit.
15:11
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
I don't know how to get back.
15:12
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
Can you leave it and
15:16
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
then I add you again?
15:18
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Yes,
15:19
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
please.
15:19
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Sorry.
15:20
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
No,
15:21
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
it's fine.
15:22
S…
Speaker 3 (Insta live with Nivea)
You're
15:35
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
still trying to connect,
15:35
S…
Speaker 3 (Insta live with Nivea)
right? Nivia,
15:50
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
can you hear me?
15:50
S…
Speaker 3 (Insta live with Nivea)
Now
16:24
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
I can add Afghan.
16:25
S…
Speaker 3 (Insta live with Nivea)
Sorry,
16:28
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
guys. One second.
16:38
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
I'm so sorry.
16:39
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
You know what?
16:39
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
I'm just not going to touch it at all.
16:41
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Yeah,
16:42
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
I'll read out the comments.
16:43
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
It's fine.
16:43
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
I was just figuring out if I could see the comments,
16:47
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
but it's okay.
16:48
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
No,
16:49
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
it's okay.
16:50
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
We're not getting too many comments.
16:52
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
It's okay.
16:52
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
I'll read out whatever we want to include here.
16:56
S…
Speaker 3 (Insta live with Nivea)
Okay,
16:58
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
so yeah, I was saying that...
17:00
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
So this specific instance that I wanted to share with you,
17:02
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
there is a person that I had spoken to through this channel itself.
17:06
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
And his concern was that he's not able to find somebody on either
17:10
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
dating apps or arranged marriage,
17:13
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
matrimonial platforms,
17:14
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
etc.
17:15
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
And, you know,
17:16
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
he kept blaming the other platforms.
17:18
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
Like, for example,
17:19
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
you know, dating apps are shitty now because he's not able to find somebody
17:23
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
for something long term.
17:25
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
And he said that people are just there to hook up and not really to
17:29
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
build something serious.
17:30
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
And on arranged marriages,
17:31
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
he had other problems like,
17:33
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
you know, they were...
17:34
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
that was too transactional there were only parents reaching out to these guys
17:38
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
and you know only checking what they're worth and not really
17:42
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
looking for the qualities in that person at all right so
17:46
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
he felt that that was true transaction and the dating apps were just you know not
17:51
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
a serious platform enough and you know I just felt
17:55
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
that this person was
17:58
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
I mean, I don't know.
17:59
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
I personally feel that it can't be that bad everywhere,
18:02
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
right?
18:02
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
Because something has to be wrong in your process or in your thinking
18:06
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
or, you know, your capacity to take or modify things and then to move on for
18:11
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
you to feel this way.
18:11
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
But what do you think about this?
18:13
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
Is this a pattern?
18:14
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Yeah,
18:15
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
I actually do have a client and he's on,
18:19
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
I think he's on one of the dating
18:23
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
apps and he's just not having a good time there because all the dates.
18:28
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
he goes to it's just not ending up like
18:32
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
he's not getting second dates the same person and and
18:36
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
I'm gonna be very honest with you dating apps just to be on there
18:40
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
it's a difficult task it's very difficult people are very transactional people
18:46
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
um there are people on these apps who do not know if they
18:50
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
really want to be in a relationship and they're just there because they're just killing time
18:54
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
or they just want good time with someone or they they
18:58
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
are just like i don't know there's a lot of scams as well but
19:03
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
When I see,
19:05
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
when I have a client like that,
19:06
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
I always say that if you know that the dating apps have been difficult
19:11
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
for you, have you tried to put yourself out in the market?
19:14
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
And how does that look like?
19:15
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
That means,
19:16
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
what does your schedule look like?
19:18
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Have you joined any clubs nearby?
19:21
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Do you go to restaurants?
19:22
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
I want you to be out there so that you can naturally attract people
19:26
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
in your life.
19:27
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Or just be in social settings where
19:31
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
you know that
19:33
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
the type of person you're looking for would be there.
19:35
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Like if you're not in clubs or anything,
19:37
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
because if you're looking for a serious relationship,
19:39
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
you're at the wrong setting.
19:40
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
You need to put yourself out there,
19:42
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
like join a club,
19:45
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
like a book club or a pottery club where you know that you'd be
19:49
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
able to get the type of person you're looking for.
19:51
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
Of course, you mean hobbies,
19:52
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
dance classes,
19:53
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
gym, whatever you're interested in,
19:54
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
right? Yeah.
19:55
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Yes.
19:55
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
So, and that not,
19:57
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
so the two things,
20:00
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
we get from it first you have your own social life you're doing you're enjoying
20:04
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
you're not focusing on oh i need a partner i need a partner because if you if
20:08
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
you have that focus and if you have that very like um if you have a mindset
20:12
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
of like no i need a partner right now you're you're coming from a place of desperation
20:17
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
and you and that energy shows off
20:20
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
that comes off and people people see that and then the other person who is
20:25
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
sitting across you on a day they'd be like okay this person is like
20:29
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
so desperate to be in a relationship so bad yeah they naturally that they they want to repel
20:33
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
they they it doesn't work for them because nobody wants to be in a relationship
20:37
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
where the other person feels like they need you it's more like a want yeah
20:42
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
right they they they should want you not need you in a way that
20:46
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
oh i'm lonely please help me be with me
20:49
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
So A,
20:50
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
they have their own life.
20:53
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
They put themselves in these social settings.
20:55
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
B,
20:56
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
there's a possibility they attract their partner,
20:59
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
the type of partner they're looking for,
21:01
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
right?
21:02
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
So it's important that if you know that something is not
21:06
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
working for you,
21:07
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
just cut it.
21:08
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Just try something else.
21:10
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
But then if you have like various filters,
21:13
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
like...
21:14
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
oh i want someone who's beautiful and also like who has
21:18
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
zero figure and who has like blonde hair like it's
21:23
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
not gonna work because you're not being realistic at this point yeah i
21:28
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
agree with you yeah okay um
21:32
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
but i do you think that knowing
21:37
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
these patterns that you know uh and being this patient
21:41
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
is easy
21:44
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
How difficult is it?
21:45
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
Because I think a lot of people that I know who are in these positions are just extremely
21:50
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
frustrated with the whole process.
21:51
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
And they feel that,
21:52
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
you know, like this person that I was talking about,
21:54
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
I just get the sense of frustration from this person and from many others who
21:59
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
have been in this process.
21:59
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
And I think it's the frustration that is the pattern in general,
22:03
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
I feel that,
22:04
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
you know, they're not able to...
22:06
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
What's the frustration about?
22:07
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Is it about not getting the results they're looking for?
22:13
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
So the reason they're not getting the results is because they're not self -aware.
22:16
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
They're trying to jump onto results
22:20
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
without doing the work in between.
22:22
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
What does that look like though?
22:25
S…
Speaker 2 (Insta live with Nivea)
What does this work look like?
22:26
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
That is just like trying to ask questions to yourself,
22:29
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
ask, ask those questions,
22:31
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
understand yourself,
22:32
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
and then apply those things.
22:34
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Self -awareness,
22:36
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
when you understand that these are my patterns,
22:37
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
this is what I do.
22:38
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Like, for example,
22:39
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
let's say you have a pattern of going to
22:43
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
the same guy over and over again.
22:45
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Yeah.
22:45
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Right.
22:46
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
And you know,
22:47
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
this person is not good for you.
22:49
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Yeah.
22:49
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
So understand why are you doing this?
22:52
S…
Speaker 3 (Insta live with Nivea)
Yeah.
22:52
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Because usually it comes down to.
22:56
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
They have their nervous system cannot identify the
23:00
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
difference between familiar and good.
23:03
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
Now,
23:04
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
they usually person who keeps going back to the same people,
23:09
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
like same person who's emotionally unavailable or inconsistent.
23:13
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
It's usually because the environment they grew up in was inconsistent.
23:18
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
The environment they grew up in had emotional ups and lows.
23:21
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
There was a lot of chaos,
23:23
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
right?
23:24
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
A lot of inconsistency.
23:26
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
And now their nervous system thinks that that is love.
23:30
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
So the definition of love becomes inconsistency,
23:33
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
you know,
23:34
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
hot and cold,
23:35
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
chaos,
23:36
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
confusion.
23:38
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
So now they keep attracting the same type of people in their life or they keep going
23:42
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
back to the same people,
23:43
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
same person who gives them the same feeling because the nervous system
23:47
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
doesn't think, oh,
23:48
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
it's good for you.
23:48
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
It thinks this is home.
23:51
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
This feels like love.
23:52
S…
Speaker 1 (Insta live with Nivea)
This feels like home.
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